Feeling so blahhhhh

Emotional Support
,
1

I’m not sure what I want to say here, but I know I need to get back to being more involved here because it is really helpful to my sobriety.

The past week or so I have just felt SO depressed. I just have zero interest in doing anything, I don’t care about anything, I just want to sleep all the time, and I just feel totally blah and empty. I passed 40 days sober (on day 42 today) and I didn’t notice or care. This seems to be a pattern I have found since I started taking my anxiety med. TMI but the week before my . starts I have been getting severe pms and feeling totally depressed. I know once it starts in a day or two I will start feeling better. I’ve talked to my dr and counselor about this and they both said I should just keep track of this for a few months and see if it gets better or worse. Overall, I know I’m fine. Just wish I could crawl in bed and stay there til I feel better. But I have a 4yo to take care of so I can’t do that.

Staying sober has been hard while feeling this way. I try remind myself to be glad I’m not hungover… but I am just so used to drinking to make myself feel better. Valentine’s Day was hard to get through sober too. I actually really love celebrating Valentine’s Day with my husband and we always try to make special. This year it was just so hard for me to put any effort in it at all and I feel guilty I didn’t make it more special for my son. Last night we went out to dinner (for the first time since I stopped drinking) to a restaurant that serves alcohol. Sitting down at the table and getting handed a wine and cocktail menu felt like a kick in the chest. I looked around and everyone was drinking alcohol. That was a really hard moment but I got through it. My husband has been so supportive and he’s decided so stop drinking too, even though he doesn’t have a problem like I do. It means so much to me that he wants to do that for me… but if I’m being honest it doesn’t feel good to see it be soo easy for him to give up alcohol like it’s nothing when it is so hard for me. I guess I have very mixed feelings about it.

Anyway, thank you for reading my little ramble. I am just trying to get myself back in here and hoping it will help bring me out of my funk.
Have a nice day everybody :slightly_smiling_face:

4 Likes
2

Hello :wave: reading your post i feel I could have written it myself, I feel you. I feel very similar to you in a lot of ways.
What I noticed in your post is how you talk about being aware that the way you are feeling is temporary, it doesn’t make it any easier I know, but just having the self awareness to know that it will pass is something quite amazing.
Im early in sobriety too, I think around 16 weeks, it has been full of ups and downs for me and those depressive episodes that you talk about are frequent with me too. Giving up drinking feels like losing a coping mechanism, but in reality you are putting down strong foundations to deal with anything life throws at you.
You should be very proud of yourself for what you are achieving, don’t focus on the little things that you wish you could do better on or the times that you need to just stay in bed to cope, sometimes it is necessary to put yourself first, look after yourself, be gentle with yourself, soothe yourself. Ultimately it is the greatest gift you can give to your family and anyone in your life, including you.
And I feel you with the PMS, my hormones drive me wild too :laughing: I find powered Magnesium supplements really helpful for my menstrual cycle.
Wishing you all the best :heart:

3

Hi KTD,

Do you have any hobbies that you can focus on? Going to the gym really helps me, even going walks to switch off and recharge myself. I get the quiet times when I’m bored as well but I just go and busy myself with something even if it’s just cleaning something round the house.

I went months sober then had a few drinks and started back having wine during the week so here I am back to sobriety.

Trust me, it’s never worth throwing it all away just for a glass of poison.