Hi everybody,
I stopped weed for a month and 8 days… totally sober. This weekend, i went to a local bong shop, showing it to friends… and i bought some pre rolled King Kush. For those who dom’t know what it is, it is synthetic weed. Potpourri sprayed with chemical agents that mimics Thc, even tho its not real weed.
I said to myself, hey… its not real weed… i can take that and not “fuck up” my weed sobriety. I was wrong, first thing i felt after consumming was guilt( that’s saturday). Took some again during the day… and yesterday, i had those wants to take some again( and i did)… feeling guilt again and weak over myself.
I realized it was a trap, my brain tricked my ownself into thinking it was different , but its not. Consuming is consuming, no matter what you take and i realised it yesterday night, gave that joint to a friend then.
this morning i feel like i just didnt know how to overcome myself, that ive been weak of doing it… and feels a lot of shame. im writting this because i needed to get out that guilt feeling out of me… i really do feel better sober… but its hard to maintain. its a battle, every day, every night… and so far i could be around weed and not break my sobriety, my willpower was unbreakable.
What did happen? I need help understand what pushed me to do it, what that brain trick was… any help or tips so it doesnt happen again?