I went a full week, didn’t have one drink. I decided to use one yesterday, and one went to 5. I don’t remember the evening. I know I gave my husband an ear full of all the things I had been holding in, based off of his reaction to me today. He said it’s best if we just don’t talk. We haven’t been in a good place for some time now. Not as a result of drinking, just disconnected. He made a comment that he didn’t even know what I liked to do. I told him I didn’t either, I’ve just been mothering, and have lost myself in that.
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Im glad you are back here after a relapse.
Just a quick glimpse at your profile and ill make an observation. Nothing good or bad. Just what jumped out for me and seen all too commonly here.
7 days ago you were on day 1.
On your day one you posted that you would check in daily.
You didnt check in at all.
Your back after 7 days and back on day 1.
I’ve been there, done that. Wished and wanted to be sober for years. Always extremely motivated on day one when im fresh in the mindset of how shit addiction is and motivated immediately by a hangover and the consequences of the night before… Then a few days go by and i forgot how bad it all was and off to buy some booze… a cycle that was endless.
What made a difference for me was actually checking in daily. Reading around and engaging with the community here. Listening to sobriety podcasts. Staying off social media for a bit. The list is endless.
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Thank you, and you’re absolutely right. I’m not holding myself accountable by not checking in daily. It is a cycle. I’ve been here before, maybe a few years ago, and have since been drinking here and there without any issues, until lately. I just need to stop forever, and not wait until I’m ok to drink again. There is nothing good that comes from it, other then momentary silence of thoughts.
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