Fell off the horse - getting back on


#1

So, about 3 months I decided to go cold turkey - it was extremely difficult especially as I had chosen to do it around Christmas and new year! (What a fool!) temptation was CRAZY! but !!! I didn’t have a drink for 5 weeks!!!
I was so proud of myself - however, I relapsed at my brothers 30th. I told myself I wasn’t going to drink so I drove…I ended up drinking which then led to me drunk driving home.

Anyway since then it was always “I’ll start again”

I was sober for 3 weeks and then I relapsed big time. I don’t know how I survived after drinking the amount I did that night…half of it is a blur. And because of it all my responsibilities went out the window - I was supposed to be working a night shift that night however I went out for lunch with my brother - had a sip of wine and that was it.

I keep proving to myself time and time again why I shouldn’t drink. So why do I keep going back?!?!?!?!!?!

I have given up again (surprise surprise) but this time I want to be absolutely strict with myself and sure that I will do it. I cannot do moderation. I need to quit for good!!!


#2

I hear you, I started drinking again this weekend. My friends were visiting my city for a hen party and I thought I could just drink moderately. Ended up getting quite drunk and then felt miserable and angry at myself all day yesterday, so went and got a bottle of wine and drank it. Was lying next to my bf and he commented, you have started to smell like an alcoholic :relieved: so guess I need to step up, am close to losing it all, especially my mind. It is miserable to keep drinking, temptations are just everywhere but I know it does feel better to not drink, so I have to hold on to this. Let’s be strong together!


#3

Life really does get in the way of abstinencey doesn’t it!!
Your boyfriend sounds like he would support you in giving up although not great support for when/if things go wrong.
I’m in the same position - my bf is really happy I’m going sober but when I’ve relapsed in the past he’s just disappointed in me and that’s when We need support the most!!!

I hear you about mental health - I have depression but it’s like the chicken and the egg I don’t know if I’m depressed because of all the alcohol I’ve consumed over my life and the choices I’ve made through that - or if I have mental ill health and I’ve been using alcohol as a coping mechanism. It’s just one big vicious circle!!!

I’ve read advice saying avoid things that will involve drink to begin with but for me (and you?) that would mean avoiding our families?!

I just wish I was normal and could have a drink or two and not be addicted and make bad choices when I do drink.

But yes sorry for the long message!!! Let’s be strong, we can do this :slight_smile: xxx


#4

It sounds like you want to stop but that just “not drinking” isn’t working. So what are you going to do this time? Can you join a program/meetings? What about therapy? Even just sharing your plans with friends and family can help with accountability.

I know you can do it, you just need more than “not drinking”.


#5

@Vonnie, @Laylagrace08. Hear you both!
It’s sad to hear that you are both having a hard time. You both sound like you know what needs to be done but are finding that you are getting distracted by life, family, partners etc.

You have read this for a very good reason. It works!!!
If staying away from any temptation means this then unfortunately this is what needs to be done.
I gave up drinking on Nov 01 last year. I didn’t go to any family/friend parties at all over Christmas/new year. i couldn’t, because I knew what would happen. Even now I don’t invite temptation.
If you really really want to do this, you will have to do what ever it takes!
Look to going to AA. Talk to Doctors about therapy, talk to your family and SO’s and convince them how serious you are about this. This forum is an excellent place to gather information and advice.
Change your mind set! It will work, but you are the only one who can action it.


#6

Hello,

I have found that if I am aware of an event where a lot of alcohol will be present or I might be tempted to get caught up in a fun moment and drink it’s best to have a gameplan in advance. Think about how to have fun at the event sober or what you will drink instead (Water, Diet Coke, etc.) You can always leave early due to a different excuse, etc. I know this can be really hard but remember that one mistake and relapse is not worth your long term goals. The people there drinking will likely eventually forget the fact that you didn’t drink, but you will likely remember if you did…

Thanks