Found myself here out of desperation. Here’s to hoping it sticks this time. The struggle never ends.
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Hoping is a passive position to take. With sobriety you literally pile drive the want to be sober yourself. Every day. Get in the grit and stay making it happen for you. You deserve it and you can do it. Stick here, use the community, build tools, go to AA/community based program. Please don’t rely on hope. You got this.
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Maybe try ameeting might help with that shaky wagon wish you well
How is today going so far?
Welcome Gemini!!
@Tragicfarinelli gave some great advice! Hope is great and all but what makes sobriety happen is taking action. Developing a plan on what youre going to do each day to support ur recovery. 12 step meetings are fantastic. There are online and in person meetings available. Lots of literature on recovery, daily reflections books, books thru 12 step meetings like the Big Book (AA) that are available to read. Staying connected to a support system is crucial as we cant do this alone. Doing the next right thing each day to support our recovery and improve our lives is important. We can obtain recovery if we put in the work daily 
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Well shit. Glad you’ve seemingly dusted yourself off and got back on the horse!
Maybe start by identifying the emotions/thoughts/ feelings that steered you back to drinking. After you do that maybe you can figure out ways to deal with those issues in a more healthy way.
And don’t forget you have us, we can maybe help ya out of a few kerfuffles going on in your own brain.
Hope to see ya around!
It happens man. I find it helps me to not beat myself up over it; try to learn what went wrong this time and what could’ve been done differently.
I found this article helped me understand my brain better and why I kept flip flopping between sobriety and active addiction. Perhaps it will help you as well https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/science-choice/201611/the-mind-flip-flopper
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