Hello everyone,
I have 8 days. I’ve had to scratch and claw for seconds that turn into hours. Those hours turn into days, but I gotta tell ya, its brutal. I’ve recovered from other addictions throughout my life, and I’m grateful for that. That being said fentanyl is a totally different animal. I was hoping that there are others out there that have broken free of the fentanyl nightmare that would be willing to check in with me. It truly is a minute by minute deal right now for me and the EXTREME fatigue is wearing me down.
.
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Hi friend! I have no experience with fentanyl, but I have heard it’s pretty rough to come off of.
I am so proud of your 8 days! What a massive achievement! Have you done this with the help of anyone, or just yourself? Distracting yourself from what you are thinking about is helpful. Are there meetings near you that you can get to?
You can spend hours here reading and chatting with people who have been where you are. That helped me in the beginning.
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If you use the ‘search’ function you can look for key words on posts that may help you.
Something that may help fatigue is to get up and get moving. Do you walk much? A lot of us swear by taking walks instead of using. It helps circulation, regulates blood sugar, gives some cardio. Walking is amazing for so many reasons.
I am a fentanyl addict in recovery! I have 80 days. What you are going through and what you describe is very true for me too and I would love to check in with each other. Are you taking subs? Even with subs it’s still brutal. How much were you doing every day and in what form?
Hey bla,
Thanks for checking in. I completed a 10 day detox using bathing calld NAD. It’s an alternative to a medical detox and was overall a much easier alternative. It removed the desire to use, for now. I start my intensive outpatient tomorrow. Currently bot on subs or naltrexone. I would also love to connect, chat ect.
Hey Ninja,
Thank you for checking in. Here is where I find myself…
My Story… this is the second time through recovery. 20 years ago I had a nasty meth habit and through a lot of work with a addiction counselor, group and 12 step work I broke free.
I finally got to live what I consider a well adjusted life. 4 years later I hurt my back on the job. I’m an automotive technician so you can see the problem here. I went to the Dr and got sent to the wonderful emerging segment of healthcare known as pain management. It’s now 04. I didn’t know anything about pills. I thought the dr prescribed it, the pharmacist filled it so I’m ok. Little did I know…My sister recently moved to Florida. That was ground zero for pill mills. She was prescribed oxycontin and paid for it with her life. She was only 46!
I kept having a tolerance problem so I walked right up the opiod ladder to oxycontin. I was still taking as prescribed, until a “friend” showed me how to abuse them. From then until October 10 2020 it was on.
I ran from getting sick for years…it was horrible.
I now find myself old! Hell I just turned 60. I’m very fortunate. Never arrested, no disease, no i.v. drug use. I always drank raw home made juices, and exercise has been a part of my life since I was in my 20’s.
I’ve been trying to push through it. Im only 12 days removed from EXTREME amounts of opioids.
Starting out on my bike getting in a mile of hill climbing. I then do short bursts of weights followed by extended periods of rest.
I went to a strong NA meeting Sunday night and raised my hand. I knew no one there and it was hard, but I did it. After the meeting I was loved by 3 recovering opiod addicts and have a good phone list. I was invited to a men’s meeting there tonight, which I am sttending.
I also have a sponsor who I am currently calling in the morning and in the afternoon.
Sorry for the long winded post BTW!
And finally, I have a real potential problem…As I begin the road back, i realize that this is a great experiment for me. I have degenerative disc disease, so there are 2 vertebrae in my low back that basically no disc between them. What i am attempting to do is strengthen my core, as well as the rest of my body for the remainder of my career. If i can’t earn a living my family is in real trouble.
Oh, and I almost forgot…working on cars wears a body out. I have 2 artificial hops and just had a total knee replacement done in April of this year.
Going back to the problem that I face…I’m still in pain management. If this doesn’t work and i cant control the back pain, i pray to God that my care team at Betty Ford can help me. They say that, if needed, these things can be integrated into recovery, and used successfully…Treatment begins tomorrow.I’ve abused this stuff for so long…finances dictate so much…should i consider a career change so late in the game? I’ve racked up so much debt using…
At any rate, this is my story, and the challenges i face, 8 weeks from today, when i must begin to work again. It’s scary stuff, for me.
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Hey Bla,
I was smoking the fake M30 pills for a long time. The the powder Dental Fentanyl showed up. It was on. Went up to smoking 2 grams a day, costing me about 350.00 a day
You are correct. They have a device they implant into the lower back, and the unit controls the dosing. As I understand it, it’s very low doses.
I’ve had so many surgery’s including hernia and then the “revision” when it failed, that I wasn’t to keen on taking on another, but I’m going to have to strongly consider it. Thanks for checking in and sharing your story with me! I hope the pain is manageable for you!!
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I don’t want to discount your pain, as I’ve had many injuries and also have degenerative disc disease, as well.
Yoga changed my life. My pain is not completely gone, but yoga helped strengthen the muscles surrounding my injuries, and my pain level is not only manageable, but I can almost ignore it for most of each day. It takes a couple weeks to start really really feeling the difference, but trust me, the difference will happen if you keep up with it.
I had my doubts. I used to get hour long massages every week, chiropractic twice a week, and a specialized massage once a week to work on a rotator cuff injury that blends into my degenerating discs in my neck. Just so I could go to work as a hairdresser.
I haven’t had a massage in months, and haven’t seen a chiropractor in a couple years. My rotator cuff injury took me out of working in the hair industry, and I am contemplating going back now that my pain is more manageable.
I had fentanyl patches for a while. But the stuff I was taking was off the street. Comes into S.D. from Mexico. Glad your still with us BTW.
.
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That’s some good stuff SoberNinja. I’ve done all the same things you did except yoga. Maybe I should try it .Cant hurt right?
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blaPsplat
I sent you a message. Check your invox!
I started treatment today at Betty Ford. Spent 2 of my 3 hours today on the phone with tech support. So dam Frustrating! I really needed to get this rolling today.
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While the call was frustrating, it’s on the list of things you can’t control.
On that list of what you can control? You. You and the way you react to things are the only things you have control over. Take a deep breath. 
Agreed. I kind of got caught up a little. I had to talk to the program director this afternoon because I told my counselor the truth and said after all the frustration I felt like using. Didn’t do it, but felt like it. He said one of their protocols is suboxone, and I needed to be on it. First mention of it after talking to 6 different people during intake. My Dr who detoxed me said hell no, I’m not putting you on suboxone. He has 33 years clean from demerol
So I will probably be kicked to the curb anyway. Funny, usually I’m being pulled towards recovery. This time it seems like professionals are pushing me away. I will take it in stride. I know that I keep doing the right things, regardless of the outcome.
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I dont think we can relate completely there man. Or maybe I should just speak for myself. I’ve done both powder and the fake 30s and unfortunately I LOVE it and it is not a nasty high to me. In my experience too in my circles up here it is also the opposite that people are getting clean more from it, people have 3x less likelyhood to successfully get clean from fen than dark because it’s so strong so addictive and so well loved. Yeah if you’re tolerance isn’t up it’s going to kick your butt and make you sick for sure but to us who used it for more than 2 or 3 years it was the ONLY thing that could get us high and like I said unfortunately we enjoyed it and we are learning from our mistake. That’s crazy you me ruin Mex to SD @JoeinSD because I’m up north of Seattle and that’s exactly what our supply was. We went to SD to meet… southern “friends” and pick up. It is soooo rough and I’m super proud of you Joe for getting clean without subs. I have done that a handful of times and ended right back up in the shit so I’m gonna give my docs advice a shot and do subs for 6 months while “physical cravings subside” and then get promptly off. I’ve done it before. I’m sorry @dalex77but it is not helpful for us to hear how nasty of a high it is but youre totally right about how gross it is! My lungs were coated in THICK layers of black goo for years. I smoked 10 to 15 fake 30s a day at my height and am super super glad to be free and clear. Looking forward to that PM joe. I’ll talk to ya soon.
I’m with you bla…same using pattern, experience and lungs! It’s way too easy living on the border. I wish I thought it was gross…as far and subs go, maybe I shouldn’t rule them out. It can be a good insurance policy against going back to that insanity…
Let me know if you got my PM. I thought I already sent you one. Take a look and let me know
I start my second treatment today. Hope it’s a good experience.
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ABSOLUTELY. I’m not going anywhere, God willing!
I’ve been doing treatment all week. Groups, one on one and step work. Happy Friday everyone!!
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