So here I am 4 days after me and my husband’s blow up. We are still not talking and I sleep in the living room of our tiny ass house still banished from my own room. But I’m ok with all of it. I have been so stressed out and emotionally exhausted from all his shit. The ups and downs of his addictions are draining more now that I’m older. Used to be a day maybe two to get over the draining but this time its longer. I know that this person is not my husband this person is a product of drug n alcohol and there is nothing I can do to stop it. He has to want it like I did. My kids all knew when both of us were in active addiction I found out which was a duh for me but their dad doesn’t think they knew. They said “Mom you and dad went from spending all your time with us to we never seen you guys out of your room much, we knew, especially when you made me got outside at 7 a.m. and water sticks” bam! They knew And still am sad at how bad I got, and my love didn’t care, he wanted to put me in a home to get rid of me. He let my kids think I was crazy instead of being honest with them about our addiction. He threw me under the bus to protect himself and his addiction. WOW. Shit hit home big time! My reality is this monster doesn’t care at all. He only cares about himself. This greedy, hateful person whom I once loved, loved until about 3 months ago when he no longer cared about me or anything but himself. And I get the whole point of taking care of yourself but he put that to a whole new level! So now I realize he only said he wanted me back and that he loved me so I would drop my restraining order and the divorce cuz he knew he was gonna lose. I feel stupid cuz I sincerely came back in hopes of reinstalling our marriage after I messed up and I did get with someone when I was in recovery. But to be honest if I hadn’t of met that person I would probably still be hooked on dope and I wouldn’t realize why I was even an addict of multiple things and I needed to stop. So I got sober, sober enough to say no and came back for my boys. Here I am back with my family we are back together and that is thrown in my face how I fuck things up to where we don’t have a family. He has himself locked in his room and says everyone is excluding him but he excludes himself. I can’t leave but am gonna look for an apartment or hud for me and the kids and the kids can stay wherever they want. 4 days of deep thought and 4 days of amazing support from everyone on here giving me their thoughts and perspective on this. I’m still undecided and still don’t know how this is gonna play out. My reality is I was played and used my kids as pawns. I need to somehow make changes. And I’m still sober! Blessed❤️
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Donnie gave you some great advice on your other thread. Did you consider having him removed from the premises? The house was given to you by your aunt, correct?
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