Finding it hard to stay sober


#1

It’s been over 90 days sober. Couldn’t go to rehab because of financial reasons and my kids needing cared for. The struggle daily is horrible. Just for one beer. I’d be so much calmer. Never had such anxiety since quitting drinking. How does everyone stay sober? I try to stay busy with my kids and I work 6 days a week but the stress is real. I don’t have any friends that understand what I’m going through. Not sure how much longer I can keep away from old habits.


#2

Well done on 90 days, i got to meetings they helped me wish you well


#3

I second that. Good place to build a sober support network


#4

Congrats on 90 Days! That one beer is a liar. It wants ALL of you back. I am on Day Two for I don’t know how many times. And you know why? Because I thought, “If I can just have ONE beer, I will feel better.”

I am 49 years old, friend. Maybe a meeting, like @Ray_M_C_Laren suggested–even an online one–or an app with calming and positive reinforcement.

We understand. We are here.


#5

If you’ve been sober 90 days, you can do 91, 92, 106, 482. It’s a matter of the will.

Some say “One Day At A Time”. No issue with that, but I break it down to one drink, the first drink. That’s all I have to do to stay sober, is defy and defeat that one drink. If I do, I win, 100% of the time. Were I to take that drink, the 2nd would be easier, and the 3rd even more so.

For me, it comes down to one drink, the first drink. Day 285 since my last drink. 285 days of freedom. I will never again put on those chains. I know that bondage is a single drink away.


#6

Faith in a Higher Power is the only cure for me when the waves of depression and extreme anxiety come running into my thoughts.

Calmly redirect your thought processes to something soothing, motivational, or something you are grateful for.

May seem a bit cliche but, consciously thinking about my gratitude to my Higher Power for giving me the strength to get to where I am in my sobriety is a calming action.

I do understand though. Anxiety can be downright crippling for a time in early recovery, and even beyond i am sure.

I wish you all the best in combatting those negative feelings. Keep grinding, you are bigger than they make you feel. Believe that, trust that.

Stay sober today. God bless you.

-J


#7

I would consider discussing this with a doctor? Or making a habit of 30 minutes of exercise per day? I personally have never dealt with anxiety other than mild fleeting attacks when I first quit.


#8

I wish I could go to meetings but no babysitter :persevere: I wish you well too!


#9

I am on anxiety/depression meds


#10

What are some online groups do you know? This my first time being online about being sober


#11

I would go back to the doctor that prescribed you the meds to begin with an explain the situation. About quitting alcohol and still having anxiety.

I know it has taken years and many doctors for my daughter to get her depression and anxiety under control and it is still us astruggle sometimes for her but alcohol has never been a recommended treatment by anyone. Also maybe some books on Cognitive behavior therapy to help with anxiety might help to learn some coping skills.

Also there are online meetings for AA or SMART


#12

I feel you! I’m sorry you are dealing with anxiety. I know it well too.

If you can’t go to a meeting ( I think I want to organize childcare for AA better now) , move! The best cure for anxiety is to move… And for yourself. We move a lot for moms but not for us, as in moments of movement to make us feel good.

Are you into yoga? I can give you links for beginner type stuff.

90 days though, amazing!! I’m reaching up there too.


#13

Intherooms.com


#14

I wish they had childcare lol and I do light exercise from an app but with having depression and battling being off alcohol I have little motivation most nights :neutral_face:


#15

I know, totally understand.


#16

If you are able to get out to that first meeting I’m sure you can find some information on child care. A lot of people bring their kids meetings in my area


#17

Also I don’t wanna sound bad but I’m not really religious. And most all the meetings are that are near me


#18

I think there are kid-friendly meetings. Tagging @C-sun for more info.


#19

You dont have to be religious. Your higher power could be the gucci god or car god they dont discriminate. You dont have to stick around for the prayer at the end either. You do only what you feel comfortable doing. Many sit in the back and just listen thier first few meetings until the courage comes that u want to share or never share.


#20

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.