First day nerves

First day today… I woke up this morning and said I was done after getting absolutely wasted last night and then called my mom. I wasn’t ugly or rude to her I was just being loud and annoying and slurring my words and she could tell and I was so embarassed.
I’ve been drinking pretty much daily since covid started and I even lost a job because of it, yet that wasn’t a wake up call at the time.

I’m scared I’m going to socialize and say “one won’t hurt” but it never stops at one.

I’m tired of feeling like crap and feeling depressed. I’m embarassed at how I’ve acted this past year. I have a wife and two kids and I want to be better for them. But I think this time is different because I finally want to do it for me.

I love super hero movies and shows and often times my favorite characters have drinks in their hand or use alcohol to cope with trauma (I relate to these characters and I admire them because they are often survivors and strong) and I’m worried watching my favorite shows and movies will tempt me but they are a big part of what I like to do in my free time. Does anyone else struggle with this?

I’m nervous and hungover, but im ready to feel better and do better.

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Glad you found us and join us! There are plenty of threads on here talking about hobbies and free time activities. Use the lense on top of the app for searching.
I love cycling, always did. When I got sober and bored after dinner it was good to go out and have a walk. Nature is calming me.

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@Diamonster thank you! I’m about clock out at work and I’m worried about going home because the first thing I would normally do is pour a drink. I got myself some sparkling waters that I can drink instead. I’m going to try an activity if I feel the urge. Something like five push-ups every time I’m overwhelmed with a craving or sit ups or something… I may get my bike out, I haven’t ridden in forever.

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What I did first: got rid of any booze in the house. Packed all my wine glasses and bottle openers in a box and went in the cellar. Later gave this stuff to my mom. Put as many steps between you and the next drink so that in case of craving you have actually some time to think, ask for help, come here and not pick up a glas.

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well done for committing to your first day!! i can relate to how you feel triggered by your heroes having drinks in their hands to cope with the trauma — and that the reason you admire them is not because they drink, but because they are strong survivors. however, perhaps you can see that them using alcohol to cope with their trauma is an indication that they have not fully proven their fullest and deepest strength to themselves, nor you, nor anyone else — their greatest strength will be demonstrated when they become a superhero in the truest sense of the word: when they put the substances down and stop numbing themselves. when they do the inner work to heal and integrate what still pains them. until that day, the hero is still somewhat a servant of his tragedies. by deciding today that you are going to face the issues that cause you to use and abuse, and that you will no longer put poison in between you and your personal growth, then you become a greater superhero than all of the characters you admire.

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Socializing was a huge concern for me. One of the biggest reasons I couldn’t achieve long term sobriety was because I kept hanging out with friends who drink and I kept trying the one wont hurt theory and it didnt work. My when to say when button doesn’t work.

When I quit doing that I started achieving long term.

I stressed about it way more than I had to. My true friends understand. My alcoholic friends are still drunk. still complaining about their same old problems, and Im not because I made changes.

Alcohol still looks delicious in movies. but I like being sober and having clarity of mind. no hangovers. Im a better person in every aspect of my life because I quit drinking.

It not always easy not to drink. Its worth it!

Your worth it!

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I’m an alcoholic and drug addict, but let me explain a simple thing that helped me ditch alcohol. From 16-36 I’d say I drank heavy regularly. It effected me in a positive way at a young age, which became a downward spiral later in life. My teachers knew I drank, I was asked by councilors to get help in 12th grade :man_facepalming: And denied I had a problem. When I stopped drinking at 36, I was full blown…didn’t want beer anymore, wanted a handle of whatever I could get. When I decided to quit, it was awkward, painful, and mentally exhausting. The hardest part was the readily availability, the store was 3 blocks away. I would convince my self that “ANYTHING” was wrong, and I needed a drink. Out of all people, my father gave me advice I’ll never forget. I hope this helps all of you. Our bodies love Repetition, so he said grab a water bottle, and said carry it with you. Drink it, refill it, occupy your mind. 2 years later I still carry water every where I go. I’m in the middle of a suboxone detox now, 9 days today :smirk:, but haven’t touched a drop of booze since 36. Mind over matter. To all you out there, I hope this helps!!!

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Glad you came here. I can relate to what you are saying. I was very angry, ugly and hurtful. I got to my worst with it and decided that the next day was it. I didn’t want to be that person. That is not me. The road to becoming me again is not easy but will be worth it. Hang in there and keep checking back here. The support is wonderful and I will be here as much as I can for you as well!

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I have the same issue with TV and movies… anytime someone is drinking on screen (which is a lot, now that I’m paying attention), I want to have a drink too. I’ve stocked my fridge with other stuff instead: flavored seltzer, kombucha, iced tea… whenever I feel an urge to drink, I grab a can of that stuff instead.

The anxiety goes away. Its all related to the CNS as well as your gut health. Both play a role in having high anxiety when quitting alcohol.
I started taking a probiotic this time when I quit drinking which is also supposed to help with anxiety and in my honest opinion- well, either it helped, or I just didn’t have any anxiety this time around and infact my general anxiety vanished coincidentially as well.
I’m convinced its played a role.
Not sure how much you were drinking. But even just one night of heavy drinking when you think about it can impact a lot of things.
It will most definitely interfere with sleep, then thinking. As well as mood. Appetite. Those were some main things that were impacted in my drinking journey and they’re pretty big things that can all definitely have an impact on anxiety.
Every single one of them have improved since I quit 2 months ago.
I feel like a million bucks and its only been 2 months but its mind and body so take care of them both, keep positive people and positive influences around you, and hopefully this post inspires you to see that so many of the crappy things that come with initial sobriety do a complete 360 and become non issues.
You will feel great just give it time and stay sober.