Took me two sigarettes before I walked in
Almost walked out after the first 5 min
But I pushed through
Still shaking
Why is this so hard
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For me it was scary because it was the first time leaving the prison of my addiction.
The thing about being in a prison is it becomes familiar. Everything is predictable and controlled. Addiction is like that. Predictable, controlled.
Life outside prison has many more moving parts and much more unpredictability. It is scary as hell. It is also beautiful and fulfilling and healthy. But the early days are scary.
Stick with it. You are learning to be free and healthy. For the moment, just bring your body. Your mind and heart will join up later. For now, just get yourself to the meetings.
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Thats true, its like a prison, but its also like this delusional āsafe spaceā that you create for yourself when you drink.
So then you have to give up that space and start to come to terms with the fact that it wasnt safe at allā¦
So for me, it was walking into the unpredictable yes. I felt so out of place and out of control
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Look at it this way, youāll never have to go to your first meeting again. Looking back, I was super super super nervous. But really, for your first meeting you should just really listen. You donāt have to say a thing if you donāt want to. But you definitely will get a warm greeting and some phone numbers, have you gone to a complete meeting yet?
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For me it was because it was truly admitting things really were that awful, I really was an alcoholic, and I really did need that level of help. I wasnāt just ātaking it a bit far sometimesā āmaking some mistakesā'. And then once there, my social anxiety and people-pleasing kick in, I donāt want to say or do the wrong thing. But it did get easier, and I found them a key part of my recovery in the end 
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Great job Nicky!
I was so scared to start going to meetings. I didnāt like it a bit. But I kept going back. I found some great speaker meetings I really liked them at first. Now I like this book study I go to on Sundays.
I been to quite a few meetings in the past couple of years. One thing Iāve learned is. All you got to do is show up. And donāt drink. You donāt have to do anything you donāt want to do. Just show up.
Iām so happy for you.
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This is Gold!!
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No not a full one, but I got a few numbers afterwards. And a few recommendations and numbers.
The people were so niceā¦ I think everyone could see how nervous I was because afterwards almost everyone came to me with hugs and support and waited with me until I left..
I didnt expect thatš«Ø
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Iām glad u had a positive experience with the twelve step fellowship because the program really does work.
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Well, another thing I like about AA meetings they are very predictable. They start on time, end on time. One hour. Thatās so people can make their schedules and still meet their obligations before and after. I do recommend going to at least one meeting for one full hour. The reason I say this, like anything worthwhile, there is an introduction, body, and conclusion. I think just catching a little bit of it might be like walking into a movie theater halfway through.
Just a suggestion. To be honest, my friend tricked me. We partied together in college and she already had about 10 years sobre when I called her. You know what she said? She goes, just go for one meeting, if you donāt like it, go out and have a few beers after. 
She was just trying to get me over that nervousness hump. But I tell you what, after that first meeting, going out for a few beers was the last thing on my mind. Best wishes, Bobby.
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