First month feeling pumped

I am 27 years old and I’ve been struggling with alcoholism for the past 4-5 years I can’t exactly remember when it really took over. It started off with going out with the girls on the weekends I was single at the time and it was fun. now I’m in a committed long term relationship and I went from going out with friends to drinking alone at home almost every night. My fiancé would come home at night and I’d be wasted I could tell he was annoyed. Drunk me was unable to rationalize or be reasonable. I would wake up the next morning feeling like a total jack ass for how I behaved the night before. Yet I continued to use. Then one night I took it to far, I put my hands on my fiancé when he didn’t deserve it. The next morning I woke up at 4 in the afternoon just appalled and disgusted with myself. How could I hurt the love of my life? I would never do that sober. So from that moment I haven’t touched a drop it’s been almost a month now and I feel so much healthier and energized. My fiancé and I are in an amazing place, this is the longest I’ve been sober in years. I still get cravings, some days are worst then other. I try to just drink Some coffee or distract myself with hobbies. Besides my fiancé I don’t have any sober friends all my friends are in their late 20s, early 30s and drink every chance they get. I’m feeling pretty lonely. I want friends who want to go hiking, rock climbing or just any activity that doesn’t involve alcohol.

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Hi and welcome here! 🙋
At first congratulations with the decision to change your life for the good and with your first month sober :confetti_ball: That’s a great start isn’t it!
Do your friends know you stopped drinking? I told my friends and now they don’t offering me drinks anymore and they support me in my sober life.
Because I have more sober days (15 months) I can be around people who drink. The first 3 months of my sobiaty I avoided all alcohol related events. So no party, restaurant, bbq, festival, concert, etc for me in those days. That helped me!
I’m here at TS every day. That’s my to go to to talk with people who understands were I’m going to.
Only addicted people understands addicted people :hugs:
If you want to meet sober people in real life maybe you go to AA?

Thank you for the advice I have avoided all alcohol related events also to not feel tempted into drinking. I have not told my friends yet I am still nervous to tell people. I know I should tell my friends I just worry they won’t want to be around me or judge me. I went to a few AA meeting about a year and a half ago and I relapsed after a few weeks. I’m honestly embarrassed and ashamed to go back.

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I never used the word alcoholic at the beginning. I think that scares people off. I told my friends I have drank enough for my whole life and wanted a heathier life for myself. They just eccepted that, no strange or difficult questions asked.
My brother could be very much pushing me to drink despite of it. So at a party when he did that again I took him outside the room and told him about my alcohol problem. No nice words covering my addiction. He never asked me again and he now buys me alcohol free beers instead.

No shame needed, they welcome you with open arms!!
2 steps

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Thank you I feel like with the online meetings I’ve been doing good but it would be nice to get out of the house so I think I will try to go to a meeting and feel it out

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Great! Keep us updated please! :+1:

Just want to add that when I went back to a meeting after a 2 year relapse, I felt very embarrassed. It took about 30 seconds to know that I was safe.

Also, an old timer once told me that newcomers rarely come to their first meeting on a winning streak. You have 30 days, so you’re already ahead!

Judge you based on what?
So long as it’s not something you push on them, as in insisting that they must change too, I can’t see what they have to judge.
If they’re good friends they’ll respect your choice, it’s not harming them and it’s what you feel you need to do in your own best interests.
I wouldn’t worry, particularly if they’re good, solid and long term friends.

Hi Danielle! Congrats on getting sober! Not sure where you live, or how far and wide the meetup app reaches, but there are a lot of sober activities on there. I think it goes off your location and you can find hiking groups, and other types of social activities. It’s used a lot fir business networking as well, but the social stuff is plentiful in the app.

Having a strong support system will be very helpful :slightly_smiling_face: