For those that know what I’m going through. The day has finally come to move out the house. Tomorrow marks my 15th day, but sadly it also marks the day my wife left me. 6 years torn apart by my alcoholism. We love each other, deeply, and she tells me this. That is why this move is the hardest one yet. I’ve quit drinking off and on before to prove I can and then something happens and I am encouraged to drink again. My wife is scared that it just will happen again. What I mean by encouraged is my wife enjoys drinking and enjoys drinking with me, but as I’ve said in previous posts, you never know what side of me is going to emerge at the end of the night. We’ll have a bad night and I’m in mud for like a week and then we’ll slowly rekindle til it happens again and again for 6 years. We are at the point where I’m a great person and a loving father, but she can no longer be with me in case I relapse. She doesn’t want to risk going through another bad night cause each time it happens I kill a piece of her and that is the demon I must face for the rest if my life…
Keep doing your best everyday, Danny. You can’t see it from your view today but stick with it and your life WILL get better. Your sweet family isn’t lost for good, just keep at it hun. 
I know life must look really bleak right now. It always does when we see the wreckage of where our disease has taken us.
Try to remember that you have no idea what your future holds. All you know is what you have today. Today, you can choose not to drink. Today you can be the father your children deserve. Today, you can be someone who does not put your wife through hell…and you can be that someone no matter what your marital status is.
It isnt easy, but it does get easier. For me, as I began to see glimmers of good in myself (which I thought were gone forever), I invested more and more in my sobriety. Now, if I drink again, I know that any self-respect I might have gotten back is gone. My integrity is shot. I’m turning my back on the people who have invested in helping me. Now, I have to do whatever it takes to be sure I don’t again become that person I hated so much.
You will build your life back little by little, day by day. For now, maybe focus on the tools you can develop so that the hardest days don’t make a drink seem more appealing than the work you are doing to live a better life. And dont be afraid to reach out for help; we have all been there in our own ways.
Hey Danny; how’re you doing, bud? Keep in touch here.
Hi Danny We’re on the sidelines cheering for your success…I know you’re feeling down but we’re all rooting for you! Baby steps… One foot in front of the other… Hugs
Hey guys. At my brother’s now. today is my first night with 2 of the 3 kids. They are happy so I am too. Me and my wife have been up and down all day. She confesses she’s been off her medications so she’s sorry for being snappy. Still separated though. One day at a time. On day 16 now and I want to say I feel better, but the depression of the situation kinda over powers that feeling so idk
Well it is a tough time for you so being depressed is somewhat par for the course. Keep doing it, I’m glad you have time with the kids.
Its all i have going for me atm.
I know hun, I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I’ve been in the depths of sadness before, it doesn’t stay that way…
The more time I spend with my kids the better it helps me feel, but I know once I drop them back off at their moms it will set in again.