First time posting but I’ve used the app before.
Seems I’m in a situation very similar to a lot of you guys. Good life, good job, kids, wonderful wife, and yet seemingly bent on self destruction. Typically I’ll have a night where I get so drunk that I don’t know how I’ve got home and most often rescued by my wife. I’ll then say ‘that’s enough’ not drink for a few days maybe a couple of weeks. I’ll then tell myself I can allow myself to have one drink, which I enjoy, but inevitably this ends up with me at some point in a complete drunken mess. I’ve been doing this for nearly 30 years. The amount of times I’ve put myself in positions where I could have been seriously injured or killed must run into the dozens, and how many times have I risked other lives I dare not imagine.
So here I am again. Trying to change something that, unfortunately, has been a massive part of my life and I guess part of who I am.
I’m certainly not one for self pity and that is not the purpose of this post. I guess what I am hoping for is that by honestly sharing my thoughts at this point it will encourage me to continue to do so and in turn make the changes that need to be made.
Thanks for the opportunity.
Welcome! Congrats on taking this first step. We are here to help out.
Welcome @Philbof, I’m really glad you’ve reached out.
Opening up and sharing your thoughts, story and hopes WILL help. You’re amongst friends here, and you will find the support and encouragement to make that change stick. You CAN do it.
Good on you making that first leap - I applaud your strength and determination.
Hope to see you around more on here, it will be great to get to know you a bit more 
Welcome im glad you reached out
Thanks for the replies.
I’ve not wanted to admit to having a problem for so many years. For multiple reasons. The biggest battle for me is going to be the fact that I love drinking, and have done since a very young age. But I know I’ve been lucky, dodged too many bullets, been so lucky, could have lost everything important to me on so many occasions, my job, my wife, my kids, my life. All for alcohol? It’s seems as if it’s been getting more ridiculous with each passing year. I went out with some friends to see a band Friday night, only saw the support act because I got so drunk I had to call my wife to collect me, having to get her to pull over so I can throw up, getting home and my wife having to clean up after I’ve thrown up in the house, with our children in their beds no doubt listening to the pathetic mess that had returned home. It’s most certainly not the first time but it has to be the last. I’m changing jobs at work in a couple of weeks, I’d arranged a leaving drink, which as ever I was really looking forward to. However there is a drinking culture at work and people know me as a drinker. I’ve cancelled my appearance that night to much dismay. I guess at some point or other I feel as if I am letting people down, which is ridiculous, I’m putting my life, family and job first. Thank you all for your time and hopefully I’ll be able to add to conversations on here. X
Hi @Philbof,
Believe it or not, your story is very similar to mine and many of us out here. You are in the right place my friend! I too have a wonderful husband and family, I run my own business, and I’m fairly well off financially. All this could have been thrown down the drain over alcohol! I have come close to death a few times recently and that has finally grabbed my attention. The wreckage I have caused others didn’t, but my own death did. We alcoholics are selfish people sometimes. Remember that this is a disease of the mind. Alcohol has hijacked your normal neural pathways. Unless you create new ones (by not drinking) you will follow your same patterns, often to the ultimate consequence - death.
I don’t mean to be harsh, and would never be judgemental because I am in the same boat with you. I have been in and out of the rooms of AA since 2012. I finally have put the drink down and gotten serious about my sobriety. I am on day 26, the longest I have been sober in 7 years. My suggestion is to give AA a try, or any other support group that deals with addiction. Stay checked in here daily. Read posts (hear them tell your own story) and reply when you can. I’ve started re-reading all my posts to understand how I have grown or where I still need to focus attention on my sober journey. One last piece of advice: think through the drink! Think about picking up that drink. What will happen next? 4,5, 10 more? And when you get there? Blackouts, vomiting, calling for help, humiliation, despair. This tool has helped me stay sober so far, and I pray to God I can continue. I’m so glad you are here with us. Stay strong and stay tuned in!
thank you so much for reply!
I know I’m still in the stage of not being fully accepting of the fact that I have a problem. My head still wants me to be able to have a drink ‘like other people do’. Everyone who knows me knows I have an addictive personality, which has many positive effects as in making me very driven in things that I focus on, but the darker side is that I am all or nothing in everything I do including drinking. My wife will still drink, and I don’t want to affect her, after all she would rarely drink to the level I crave to. She is supportive but at the same time I know she isn’t overjoyed with one of us taking alcohol out of our lives. It will be fine though, and we both know things can’t go on as they have.
I’m on day 4 now (I did the whole of October last year, but then instantly went up a level once I started again), at times it feels so positive and empowering not to drink, but I know that it’s going to test my resolve very soon.
Again thank you for taking the time reply.
Welcome! My fiance still drinks as well. I tell him he can drink if he wants. For me, his drinking decision has no bearing on me. I crave and am tempted by alcohol enough on my own. I feel like there is some level of akwardness while we get used to me not drinking. He doesn’t admit it. But he’s very supportive and likes the sober me much much better than the crazy drunk girl he’s dealt with so many times. Hopefully your wife will just adapt to your new way of life and understand the decision to be sober is not a negative for her but a positive.
I’m sure she will see it as a positive. It’s all good! Almost looking forward to the challenges ahead! Thanks all x
Hey Phil,
No one can do it in their own, that’s why we’re here. We didn’t learn these habits on our own, so,it stands to reason we won’t unlearn them alone either.
I found this app, forum when I was 3 years, 2 months or so sober and it has helped me. There’s help for you. You can do it.
If I can be of help…
Best,
Chandler
Wow. I could have written that post. Thanks for sharing! You are not alone.
Isn’t it remarkable how many of us share the same feelings, thoughts and experiences? Also very comforting to know it’s not just ‘me’. I’ve never felt such positivity trying to be sober before. I’ve never thought of myself as being an alcoholic, and to be fair in my own interpretation of that I don’t think I am. I DO have a drink problem, a problem which if I were to chose to ignore would be reckless, selfish, destructive and no doubt would lead to me feeling dependent on alcohol for day to day existence, I walk that fine line when I drink and it’s time for me to get off. The problem I’ve had before when being sober was that not drinking felt like a burden, it was all I could think about and the topic of a lot of my conversations. Then to say ‘forget it lets have a drink’ almost seemed like the sensible thing to do, why put all that pressure on myself to be sober? And then, as always, that one pint be comes two, and a week later I’m being rescued by my wife (or anyone else who happens to be passing). I’m 43 not 16 and this stops now!
Together we can do this. It’s not going to be easy, I may fall a few times (though I’m determined not to), but I want my life back. Whatever I’ve achieved in my life up to this point is just the beginning, the sober me could achieve so much more, but I guess all I really want is piece of mind, and to be at ease with who I am, maybe that’s a whole different challenge. Anyway I HAVE realised I’m waffling on.
Let’s do this x