I found social networks a problem but mainly Instagram and TikTok, for the images.
I have deleted all social networking apps from my phone except LinkedIn and Sober Time / Talking Sober; those are the only social sites I visit regularly (and the only one I visit daily is Talking Sober).
Personally what I found was that I did try to put controls on my internet use (for example I got rid of my personal cell phone and replaced it with my former company’s cell phone, which our IT department controlled internet sites) - but they didn’t stop me from accessing these sites on my computer at home. That behaviour didn’t stop until I dealt with the fundamental problems, the fundamental imbalances underlying my addiction.
The thing that really turned it around for me was group work in a sex recovery group, and psychological and psychiatric care. (And time. It takes time and persistence, one day at a time.) Two things: A) getting counselling that taught me how to communicate constructively with my wife (instead of fighting about superficial things), and B) medical treatment for my depression (I take bupropion / Wellbutrin now, which combined with the improved marriage emotional communication has made a significant difference). Since doing those things, the “itch” to open unhelpful sites has been gone. I even have my own cell phone now, no blocks, no problem. (I am still vigilant, because the momentary thought comes sometimes, but I manage it now by checking in and sharing here; it helps me to get it out of my head, in writing: Checking in daily to maintain focus #42.)
I also worked on making some sober friends from my groups. We still hang out, years later; we take walks, have lunches.
Obviously marriage counselling and depression treatment specifically is not true for everybody, but the point is, our acting out behaviour is about unmet needs. Addiction is a false approach to a real need: for example, meaningful human communication and connection. This is a basic human need - we all have it. At some point, all us addicts substituted the numbness of addictive behaviour, instead of healthy human communication and connection, and we’ve been starving ourselves for years. To get sober we need to learn to be with ourselves, sober and clean, and to be with others, socially, in the same way. (This is why recovery groups are so helpful.)
Fundamentally my advice would be the most important thing you can do is get something started to start looking at your needs and learning how to meet them.
If you’re looking for a step up, maybe a kick start, there is something you can probably do: get rid of your cell phone entirely, and your computer or tablet. Get a landline phone and a voice answering machine, and use the internet at the public library. That will remove all possibility of logging in to anything inappropriate, at least, on the internet. (It’ll also give you lots of time to read paper books - another good reason to go to the library )
What do you think?