When I’m with people, I can stay sober, partly because I would be extremely ashamed if I didn’t. The last week I stayed with my boyfriend for that reason. But tonight I will/must go home and be on my own for two days. I want to smoke sooo badly that I’m actually scared to go home and face the craving. To make matters worse, by now some of the emotions I’ve been suppressing with alcohol are starting to come back, and it hurts. All the regret, the shame, the feelings of inadequacy that I’ve ignored for so long creep up and ravage my heart. How am I to be on my own and live through this in the days to come? How do I fly solo without giving in to addiction?
Thank you soo much for this reaction. I’m at home now. Made some tea and brought out some chocolate. 
Will start reading that thread now.
2 Likes