You have got a lot on your plate 
Focussing on doing the next right thing, learning to be kind and caring towards myself helped me tremendously. It took time to build a toolbox for coping with life on life terms, for sitting with my feelings, to learn that i am not my feelings, they pass, come and go, as well as the brainchatter. When it felt too much I set myself on autopilot to do the next right thing. that could be a cup of tea to sooth heart & soul, a chore to tell my brain what is important (neat place to live in vs. chaos and unhealthy behaviour), a short breath meditation to ground me and tell my body that my wellbeeing matters. thousands of tiny little decicions to show myself where we are heading: towards a life filled with calm, inner peace and free from things i want to escape or want to happen. four years after the initial spark (separating from my ex) i arrived where i longed to be. it was a rocky road for the first 3 years but i kept going. one day at a time. sometimes all i did was survive and it was enough.
you are enough. you matter. figuring out one’s issues and working towards better takes time. just keep going. it doesn’t matter what you achieve today as long as you stay sober. i suggest to do at least one lovely, caring thing for yourself every day. i start and invite you! i cheer on you with a cup of tea that i enjoy in silence this morning before it gets busy. 10 minutes ME time, breathing, feeling the tea warming my tummy, heart and soul, doing self-care.