Found myself relapsing before the relapse!

I was lucky enough to be a Veteran the VA didnt let fall through the cracks. I found myself doing some very risky stuff about 8 months ago, and had lost who myself. I was depressed and and half psycho from a long run of Meth use. I was scared paranoid and a shell of who I really was. I could actually hear voices and thought I was gone. I was homeless and estranged from my family for about 6 months at this point. I found help at an impatient rehabilitation center for Veterans with substance abuse and mental health issues. I learned so so much from this place and after 8hours of classes and therapy a day for 6 monthes, They help me back on my feet. I now have my own Apartment, and I am going to college. This past week i started feeling very loanly and with no money and a blown and slipped L4 disk in my back causing static pain, i started feeling sorry for myself, I moved my laptop from the frontroom to my bedroom. I started taking the dog outback instead of up front, i hadn’t been anywhere in three day or got dressed in days. Didnt even realize that i had started to slip back. Yesterday i woke up sun was out and i started to run thoughts of how unfair it was i have no money, im not happy, im loanly, and then it came to me!!! What the heck are you doing Eric, you are just slipping back into your old ways of feeling sorry for your self, and playing the role of sick. I prayed and got up showered and put my shoes on and took my dog on a two mile walk, with almost no back pain. I have to remind myself that i am not a little sad sack, and that my sickness is all self induced. I have 223 days sober and no desire to go back to loanly sad place!!!

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That’s inspirational :slightly_smiling_face:

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Man, great share! Getting on top of those thoughts before they turn into action is absolutely huge! Well done my friend!

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Its really crazy how I can fall into it and not see what Im doing. The mind is strange and dangerous. Im glad to have some emotional intelligence now after learning so much from the VA. I just have to find how to get back into loving life again and being greatful instead of looking at the bad in everything.

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It’s so easy to fall into because the mind doesn’t do it all at once. It’s in tiny increments. The slope is slippery for sure. I think we all get those changes in thinking, we always will. With time you will start to recognize the signs earlier and earlier. At least that’s how it worked for me. I can tell you are reflecting on this, which is the first step to getting a better jump on these thoughts.

Stay strong buddy!

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Thanks for sharing. This has really kicked my sobriety into gear this morning!

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Thank you for sharing <3

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Thankyou so much for sharing how u feel … it made me remind mysrlf i might not have much money wise … but i got my sobriety… and i wouldn’t change it 4 the world x

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Mate, great share!
It’s great that you caught it.
When I first came on here there was a lot of talk of just this.
Being aware of what is happening.
You used the tools you learnt in rehab!
It’s great that it’s come back up again, people need to know that a relapse can take ages to come out.
It’s not just the act of picking up.
Well done, it would have been a shame after all the hard work.:grinning:

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Thank you for sharing! What a wonderful feeling to catch those sneaky little thoughts before they turn to actions. I can relate a lot because I had a similar experience today.
The fact that you were able to turn things around shows great commitment to wanting a better life. That is inspirational, friend.

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Thank you for sharing. It helped me a lot. To ve grateful…to fight that first thought and just do what we need to do. Bless you. Keep going!.:two_hearts::clap:

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Thank you Eric! You are my positive inspiration for the day :sunglasses:

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