Recently decided I need to take a long hard look at my drinking habits. I’m only 28 but I dont even remember what it’s like to do anything not even cleaning the house without alcohol. Told my friend I dont wanna drink when we go out with out friends and he just says “cmon one beer or 3 won’t hurt. You wont be hung over and itll be fun, dont be a buzz kill” this is literally my biggest fear when it comes to cutting out alcohol, the other people not understanding or not being supportive. Any advice to deal with this is highly appreciated.
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I’m 30 and I’ve been sober just over 6 months. I don’t go out much any more, spending a night in a bar watching other people poison themselves and act like dicks just isn’t up there on my priority list! Would much rather go for lunch, go for a walk, watch a film, theatre, museum, gallery… I have reset my activity time to the day and night time for sleeping. The people who are my real friends are up for doing this kind of stuff with me. I don’t worry too much about the others. I do my hobbies and have built the social side of these up more, whereas before I didn’t see them as social cos no booze involved. I do go out with friends for important gatherings and they are not dicks about me not drinking, because they are my real friends. They give a shit about me and I love spending time with them (up until about the third repetition of the same story, then I drive home and wake up hangover free and with a head full of lovely memories!).
One of the big things for me has been learning to spend time with my own company. Walking, yoga and meditation have been very helpful for me in having time to reflect and accept myself. Understanding why I was drinking has been uncomfortable at times but I am learning to like myself and my self esteem is improving.
It gets easier!
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Welcome!
It’s great that you want to get sober! It was the best decision I’ve ever made. Hopefully you will feel the same. That being said, I am not gonna sugar coat it, there is a price to pay for sobriety and it is usually letting go of the lifestyle that you are currently living. This includes your drinking buddies, toxic relationships, your daily/weekly routine, and in some cases, your job.
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And I accidentally hit reply…
If you are serious about getting sober, the first obvious thing is to stop going out with your friends. It’s up to you if you want to tell them you dont want to drink anymore, but hang low for a while, get some time under your belt, and see about maintaining a friendship on your terms.
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I love this - “maintaining a friendship on your terms” is great advice.
I find myself going to pubs just because it’s what I’ve always done, and then I just feel awkward and uncomfortable the whole time. I could take this advice and organise different booze free activities instead, stuff I’d also enjoy.
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Indeed! Going bowling is one of my go to’s. The activity is not central to drinking but drinks are available to those who feel the need. And not drinking while bowling is not as awkward than sitting in a bar twiddling your thumbs. 
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I’m a 28 year old alcoholic too. Always a drink in my hand no matter what I was doing? Packing, cleaning, watching TV, driving, you name it!! Moved to a new city at 19 and made friends with a close group of people. We became a family that partied every weekend and during the week . Long story short, I have over a year sober. I didn’t tell them when I got sober, just became a hermit for a few months until I had a more solid foundation. I only hang out with 2 of those friends now and they support my sobriety 100%. They’ll drink if we are out to dinner but never question me, never pressure & they make sure my drinks are virgin 
it’s no longer a temptation to me because I feel secure with them. We now spend our time doing hot yoga, going to a Himalayan salt cave or just wasting our money at Target 
You are going to make lifestyle changes to stay sober. No way around it. I’m lucky that those 2 girls are true friends, not just my drinking buddies. Sounds like your friends aren’t supportive of your sobriety and therefore are not healthy for you at all. Take some time away from them and focus on healing yourself. No bars, no parties, just clean and healthy environments and activities.
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This is such a big issue for the majority of alcoholics. Identify your supportive people now and let them know of your struggle if you’re comfortable doing so, so they can help hold you accountable. This also puts up one of many safety nets you’re going to need when it gets tough. Then find more sober friends/get rid of the suppressive ones. A lot of members recommend AA for support.
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That’s not a friend. That’s a drinking buddy. There is a difference and the surest way to tell is to quit drinking and watch their reactions.
A drinking buddy will pressure you, tempt you, cajole you, and ridicule you, all in an attempt to get you to drink with them. It’s not about you, it’s about them.
A friend, whether you drank with them or not, will congratulate you, encourage you, admire you, and support you, and will want to be with you regardless. It’s about you, not them.
I have friends with whom I once drank, who are still my friends today. I don’t have any drinking buddies.
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