I’m worried about losing friends. How do I handle myself when anxiety makes me want to drink?
I’ve had to break up with some “friends” since I quit, others I just quit hanging out with but we stay in touch. It was an inevitable part of my journey, as it is for many others. It’s not always an easy process or one that appears worth while at the surface; but, inevitable.
After some failed attempts at sobriety, I knew that to be successful I had to make changes. One was that I knew that I had to be a “recluse” for a while. For the first 6 months I pretty much stayed home and kept to myself. It was so hard because I gotta get out and be around people! But I powered through. I really only did things with family. When I was ready to rejoin society, so to speak, I actually found joy in staying home, so I do that now! Funny how that worked out.
So yeah, that’s a glimpse into my journey. Maybe there’s something in there that you can find valuable, maybe not. Regardless, keep at it! Sober life ain’t easy, but damnit, it’s worth it!
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I cook and brew kombucha and used to brew beer. Socializing around ingestion is a big part of life. I’ve gotta figure that out.
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Good stuff right here. In the beginning, I also stayed to myself and I also chose to unplug from social media. I still enjoy staying in and I try to avoid unnecessary stressors and that includes hanging out with friends who drink. 2 years 5 months in!!
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Wow, almost 2.5 years! Good on you! That’s flippin’ awesome!
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I know how that is. That’s all I did, all I lived for. It’s a difficult transition. Some people find sober friends in AA, might be an option if you’re open to it. 
How does one brew kombucha? I’ve seen it, never had it. And… what is it? Is it delicious? I need to know!
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Kombucha is a fermented probiotic tea. Though it’s fermented, there’s only as much alcohol as a NA beer, soo pretty much nothing. It’s fizzy and sour and delicious in whatever fruit or herb you want to make!! Is easy. There are kits to brew online. Buy the SCOBY- that’s the culture- and add to concentrated tea.
Interesting! I’ve only recently (few years) noticed the popularity of Kombucha, is it a new thing or just somehow made popular recently? I know nothing of this. 
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Thank you!!
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You won’t lose friends… But you will find out who your real friends are. A lot of the connections I had that were just based on booze have faded and it doesn’t feel like a loss. Our lives have just gone in different directions.
Like @Dejavu I am now much more comfortable spending time in my own company and at home.
Kombucha brewing sounds like a cool hobby though, are there are meetups or networks around that?
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I can totally relate.
I was so scared of losing friends.
As was already mentioned, my experience was that I found out who my actual friends are and through AA I have friendships (and a very active social life) that I never could have imagined at this time last year.
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Yeah, I think this is one of the biggest issues that people have when it comes to getting sober. I knew who to tell the truth to and who to just say that I’d stopped drinking. So far, I was right in my choices. For years now I’ve not really been much of a going out person. We live in a small village with one pub. So the occasional night there is all we have done for a long time.
I have found that real friends, the type that are there for you when you need them will respect your choice. Those that don’t, you don’t need.
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Fortunately, I don’t have friends who will question anything. I’m talking about navigating ordinary social events where drinking is a thing that is just there. What I’m afraid will be hard is the lack of “social lubrication” and how to build my confidence to just interact and be.
Ok, well I’ve found just accepting that I can’t drink has helped me to deal with going out to these events. We had 2 close family funerals when I was only a month in and I just had to keep saying no to myself everytime my brain tried telling me I could drink.
Once you have some time behind you, you will be thinking differently anyway.
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In your area, I don’t know. I got interested in kombucha as an offshoot of brewing beer. As a nutritional supplement, I found people I was in school with (nutrition and food science) who were similarly interested, and the local brew supply shop had a couple workshops. There were workshops on vinegar, pickling, and yogurt and kefir as well. I love investigating foods.
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I don’t know any history about kombucha. I got interested in kombucha as an offshoot of brewing beer. As a nutritional supplement, I found people I was in school with (nutrition and food science) who were similarly interested, and the local brew supply shop had a couple workshops. There were workshops on vinegar, pickling, and yogurt and kefir as well. I love investigating foods.
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I guess I should mention it was workshops on food preservation - pickling, culture, and fermentation + canning/bottling.
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I feel the longer you are off alcohol or at least for me you actually build confidence.I don’t feel as dumbed down and I actually can carry on a intelligent conversation.alcohol causes anxiety so if you can get it out of your system you will function better in social situations
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I’ll have to work on embracing the awkwardness I feel, I guess. Thanks, Dixie. How are you?
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That sounds so interesting. I like fermented foods and my bf has made kimchi before but it never occurred to me that there might be a community around it. Hopefully that gives you your basis to socialise.
It’s weird doing things sober to start with but it gets easier. I am probably more selective about the types of social events I go to. Going to a bar just to watch people get smashed and tell you the same story ten times is boring!