Then get back up. Again.
I went to my first AA meeting tonight. I walked passed the door a few times before I walked in. Yes I was nervous and anxious but I am glad I did.
Honestly you have nothing to fear.
I left with a feeling of hope that I have never had.
It was a closed meeting.
We have nothing to be ashamed of and you will feel even less shame at and after the meeting.
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Well done! Keep coming back 
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For all y’all that skipped over this, reread and then read again. Newcomers trying to figure out how to get sober, read again. The sober vets with months to years, reread.
This is how it works. Change yourself, not your world, the world is outside of your control.
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You can do it and don’t give up. My daughter is 5 years old and I will be celebrating a year finally after trying over and over to get sober the whole time since I had her and relapsing is just lessons but does not mean we have to give up because we fall down. It’s really hard when we have kids looking up to us and it’s really hard when we choose alcohol over everything. But if you give up now someday in the future you won’t be able to look back and say I did that. The last time I realized I almost lost my daughter I only drank for about a month after quitting for 7 months but I had a sick feeling in my stomach that if I didn’t try again I would lose her and she means the world to me. I believe in you. don’t lose hope. you got this
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Wow that is absolutely stunning something I have never heard and you are so right
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