So 11 days into sobriety from alcohol, had some great information about NOFAP/porn which has me completely turned around on the subject. From seeing it one day as pretty harmless and just basically my right to enjoy myself on occasion to the next day- seeing it for what it is…a low level frequency of operating that is along the same exact lines as other more “obvious” addictions. A way not to feel and be the best me, not to mention the impact on society and other individuals.
Obviously, I’ve now started to think on. I don’t think I am a food addict or anything but in the same vain as the others mentioned, I am just a slave to my impulses, gaining my pleasure and “a hit” from material things. I want a packet of crisps? i have 1. No question. I want something else? Go for it. There is no willpower, no thought, no balance.
I gather this will more nuanced than porn or drug addictions but I feel the same principles apply in my life. That thing about true freedom coming from self discipline as opposed to what were taught about freedom- the freedom to do what you want whenever you want to. If I’m really honest and apply it across the board, this absolutely applies to my food desires and resulting choices.
Again, here to learn from people further down the path. Any insights welcome
It is really interesting. In limiting our freedom to do stuff (or at least choosing not to use our freedom to indulge in things), we start to gain freedom from the harmful effects of that stuff!
The world is filled with sensations, pleasurable and painful. The sensations are something we can enjoy (or appreciate) - and this is true of both pleasure and pain (there is value in both). The trick, in my experience, is to enjoy them for their own sake, and not as a distraction.
If I’m impulsively jumping at something (like 12 chocolate chunk cookies), I’m wondering, what am I running from here? Often it isn’t clear. What is clear, is that I want the 12 cookies. One would not be “enough”. So I’m running, I’m looking for a diversion. I’m not really appreciating the cookie for itself. (What I’m escaping is usually a nebulous feeling of inadequacy, which is the demon on my shoulder. I find if I take the time to talk to him, I get a better understanding of the overall situation.)
One trick I use is to tell myself, I can always come back later. It’s always possible for me to pick up cookies. I don’t have to pick them up on the way home and eat them in my car (which was a habit of mine). I find that I never do. I never get back up and go get the cookies. The impulse passes.
This too, shall pass.
I also try to appreciate simple pleasures. I buy myself mangoes & I have one for breakfast with my eggs and toast. I love mangoes. It’s one mango with breakfast, and it brings me great pleasure. Explore & I’m sure you’ll develop your emotional skill at distinguishing between impulses that are about escape, and choices that are about appreciation.
