Future tripping

I’ve been going to AA meetings for almost a year and a half now. I’ve been single for over a year now. My ex boyfriend of 8 years has been in other meetings in town I hear. I’m afraid he will start to show up at my home group. I’m not sure how to act if he does. Am I supportive enough to reach out and talk to him? Life has been so good to me being single, I have many goals I want to accomplish in the future on my own. Do I not go to the meeting as often if he shows up at mine? Help, sponsor less and needing advice.


Just my opinion, if the meetings help u, do not sacrifice them if he turns up, ur sobriety is more important. If it would upset u to reach out to him, u don’t have to, that is not ur responsibility.


Thank you your opinion means more than you know.
I would love for him to be sober, wanted both of us to be sober in our relationship, but we just didn’t have it. I need to focus on me again and not let him get free rent in my head.


I agree, focus on you. All you need do is sympathy from a distance, imho.


Focus on the meeting and be cordial. I wouldn’t sit near him or get into any personal conversations.
Just your past reminding you you’re doing good. :hugs:


hey there, I listened to a podcast on the naked mind about kinda this subject. If the meetings help, go. your recovery comes first. But this worry needs adressing and is valid. In the podcast they were talking about having a plan for these kind of situations. Imagine him being there, how will it make you feel? what thoughts come with it. and how can you prepare for this so you can have a response / behaviour that can help you stay on the ‘safe’ side.
some times for me at least it feels so much work to have a plan for everything :wink: but I ran into my family this weekend, unprepared but at a moment I felt fragile. I responded in the worst possible way. not for them but for me and put my recovery at risk. So now I had to be strickt with me. I was responsible for my past but I am for my current life and health.
hope it helps you. good for reaching out and for going to the meetings for so long already. You work it!


I have had similar issues, not with an exboyfriend but with ex-sponsors that “broke up” with me and another woman who I was friends with but had a bad falling out with. I didn’t want to have to see them at meetings. I did eventually end up seeing them at some meetings and yes, it was uncomfortable! But eventually they stopped coming. So I’m glad I didn’t give up two of my very favorite meetings for them!

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