Getting over shame

Hi :slight_smile: on my second attempt at being sober almost at 6 months again!! This time feels different, this time I know alcohol isn’t an option for me and I feel okay with that.
What I need help with is the shame aspect, I keep having like thoughts or triggers of how I used to behave/act and having that overwhelming feeling of shame take over me and not being able to get past it. One big thing I find is if I am awake when the sun rises and I haven’t slept it really triggers me and makes me feel really really down, even though I’ve not done anything and I just can’t sleep. Any tips?

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The best way to deal with the shame is probably though thoroughly worrying the twelve steps and you deal with it on the relevant step once the previous steps have gotten you to a place where your are able to confront and make amends for past behaviours. If that’s not an avenue you are looking to go down then you can still be honest and offer amends but just be aware that for some people they will have to see you living your recovery for some time before they themselves are in a place where they can accept that this is the new you. For the time being keep doing what your doing, do some good things for others and stick around here🙏

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Hi Laura! Shame was a big part of my early recovery as well. It would often leave me feeling really “stuck” in old thoughts and actions. What helped me is to be gentle with myself. To remind myself that I was a very unwell person at that time with the disease of addiction. Often times i was just trying to survive that lifestyle and therefore did things that I would never do clean and sober. Its important to also remember that we arent there anymore. One of the greatest amemds we can make to ourselves and others, is to remain free from drugs and alcohol. We are living a different way now and not acting out in the ways we once did. We need to give ourselves some grace :slight_smile:

Sometimes journalling has also helped. Sometimes attending an online or in person 12 step meeting has helped. Usually focusing on others and being of service has helped get me out of self and out of my head. Whats important is that ur sober and not behaving the same way anymore. We all mistakes but they dont need to define us. Congratulations on ur upcoming 6 months!!! :dizzy:

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Hey welcome. Shame is an emotion just like any other and is probably demanding to be felt. A big part of staying sober for me is sitting with those difficult emotions rather than drinking them away. If your shame is asking you to relive an old unpleasant memory, feel it and recognize that the best way to not experience that moment again is to stay sober.
Clearing out and sitting with the shame makes way for pride and you should be proud of yourself. Congratulations on your sober time and welcome.

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