Well, I guess I’ll flap my gums a bit about what happened when Ava was here last weekend. For those who don’t know, Ava is my 15-year-old daughter that is being alienated from me by her dad and stepmother.
At this point I have realized it’s too far gone and irreparable at the moment. Perhaps not in the future, but right now, even though the pain is something I don’t even have the vocabulary to describe, I need to let go.
It’s hard to find support because 99% of parental alienation cases are women that alienate their children from their fathers. It’s sad that parents can be so selfish that they put their own wants before the needs of their children. Turning a daughter against her mother is damaging.
My ex and his wife refuse to get Ava help, and she desperately needs it. She self harms and has kleptomania. Her father has kleptomania and his mother too. Apparently there is some help but no cure. She has seen him almost kill me two times when she was very young. I just remember her standing in the doorway staring. So of course he’s more concerned with that coming out than her getting the help she needs.
I realized she is also being coached, as a lot of the things she said last weekend were verbatim things her father has said to me, and not something she would normally say.
She’s also developed and eating disorder. It’s been manifesting for years, but she flat out starving herself. She’s lost 55lbs since I last saw her at the end of January. She also went down to the gym and worked out every night she was here. It’s not bad it’s just part of her new obsession. I recognize the signs because I am both anorexic and bulimic. This is yet something else they refuse to address.
I’m have been dictated to and have not had a say in anything for a while now. They don’t tell me when she has awards ceremonies or when she’s performing in a band concert. When she was living with me, I invited him to literally everything and kept him in the loop on every single thing.
They constantly take her out of state without letting me know. Sometimes for over a month at a time.
This Mother’s Day, she posted pics with I guess her new mom? I’ve 100% been replaced. If she were with me, number one SHE WOULDN’T because I would make sure she was with her dad, but if she posted Father’s Day pics with another man, I better go into hiding because he would literally murder me.
I wasn’t feeling well last weekend and have chest pains. I’ve had two heart attacks and that shit is scary when it happens. It just annoyed her as it was inconvenient to her. We were out with the dogs, I was taking a little breather, catching my breath and had chest pain, I was doing my Apple Watch ECG thing and she asked me for a poop bag. I said just a second because that thing takes 30 seconds. She huffed off and got one herself (which she should have fucking done anyway). I told her that it really upsets me when she has zero empathy for my heart condition or feelings. She just rolls her eyes. She just can’t stand me at this point.
We get back upstairs and she asked me what time the dogs need to go out again, and I said around 5pm. She goes “oh, because I just got a text that I’m getting picked up in an hour”. What???
Do you think ANYONE checked with me on this? Nope! To make it worse, it was her new bestie stepmom coming to get her. She gets off on hurting me as well as my ex. I have no idea why. I have literally done nothing but the right thing with them and treated them with fairness and kindness. I’m always the bigger person to avoid an argument and it’s only backfired. Karma is a lie folks. For some reason all the good karma is going to the people who get off on torturing me.
I started to cry and finally, finally told her how it is. I’m sick of this bullshit. Her posting negative shit about me on TikTok. I hate the word victim, but they are all victim blaming on a massive scale.
So I told her, Your dad ABANDONED us! He left for the army, left me with legal bills that I had no idea about, had an affair and came home and beat this shit out of me. Sorry I drank my weight in booze, I was broken hearted. Not an excuse, but I didn’t know how to cope. Because believe it or not, I was madly in love with your father when he left. I was hurting and I missed him. I didn’t ever want to be a single mom again, and here I was.
She literally started laughing at me. I said are you seriously laughing at me right now? She said there was something funny on her phone. That something funny was her stepmom and they were making fun of me and furthermore, the stepmom told Ava to post whatever she wants because she will block me. Dumb bitch doesn’t realize I can still see the post just not the tag. Moron.
How did I find out, after Ava left, I blocked her dad, her stepmom, and every person in both families. I saw her name tagged the hour before, and when I went to block her, I could not because she had just blocked me. What a piece of shit garbage person. What kind of woman does that to another woman?? I also changed the elevator code because I don’t trust him to not try and come up here to kill me after telling Ava the truth.
I know that the stepmom is jealous of me because she’s told me multiple times. That’s her problem and not mine. There is absolutely nothing to be jealous of. He’s with her. I don’t want any piece of that shit show or I would not have left his stupid, loser, victim mentality, hung like a fucking light switch ass.
I was uncertain if I should have told her what her father did, but my therapist said that at this point I absolutely had to. Now I have to have no contact with her until she can be respectful. That’s the hardest part. I’m one of these moms, like Cheryl Hines in “A Bad Mom’s Christmas “
I constantly need to let them know how loved they are. Not telling her how much I love her everyday is killing me 
So, that was last weekend. I’m kind of just pushing the feelings down because I don’t know how to process them. Then I will address them in therapy and then back in the back pocket they will go until next week.
It’s mostly residential real estate questions which I know nothing about. I’m a commercial real estate broker, so I have a little bit of refreshing to do. It’s completely day and night. Completely different fields. So, wish me luck. I also forgot that I don’t think I have a calculator. However, the math is simple enough that I can do it in my head or the old fashioned way with pen and paper 
Constantly having to edit the stupid shit my phone outputs. I literally watch it change a correct word to something stupid. Why?!?!? ****
know it’s not the same but sending you virtual hugs today and good luck for your exam xx
