Hello everyone, I am new around here and very happy to be. I’ve been toying with the idea of quitting drinking for months and even come on this site to read some inspiring stories. This past weekend I got very drunk and became aggressive with family, even hitting my best friend in the face. I spent the night in the emergency room, cycling between calm moments and moments of uncontrollable outbursts. It was the first time in my life I felt totally out of control. Even if I wanted to stop yelling and being aggressive, I couldn’t control myself.
I realized later that I was carrying and concealing a great deal of hurt inside. My wife had 3 miscarriages that greatly shook my relationship with God. So much so, I carried anger in my soul. Even though I wanted to return to Jesus, I couldn’t get over the pain and anger. Last week my 12 year-old dog died and really hurt me. Although I expressed my sorrow outwardly, I was determined to drink to excess on Saturday to heal. Unfortunately, all the emotions overtook me and I ended up in the ER and hurting many people I love.
I realized that over the course of the past few months I have been covering my emotions with alcohol. Not getting overly drunk but drinking enough to dull the pain. Considering the hurt I inflicted on Saturday, I am determined to never let that happen again or try to self-medicate with alcohol or any other substances.
I have been a big craft beer drinker for many years and my wife and I frequently visit breweries for fun. This change is not going to be easy but I want to be the best dad and husband I can be and I know that doesn’t involve alcohol. My wife thinks I am going to be sober for a little while and I can return to drinking when I get past this incident. For me, I feel better knowing that I am not trying to hide any negative emotions and can think clearly when challenges arise. I am sure there are many other fun things to do that do not involve beer/drinking and I am looking forward to trying them out!
Thank you all for reading this and God bless!