Going back to school this weekend

I haven’t been sober since I’ve been home for winter break (December 16th) Today (Jan 9th) is the first day. I’m on my first day of withdrawal and I’m extremely nauseas with no appetite but I have tried eating and I’ve been drinking lots of water. I don’t have any money for Kratom. Due to fincial circumstances, I may not be going back for the Spring Semester to finish my freshmen year. I still haven’t been able to pay off my Fall semester and I’ve been working with the financial aid office for months with trying to find the funds since my Mom was denied the parent plus loan and we really don’t want to take out any private loans. One of the financial advisors took my story to heart and she’s been working on my case to help me but to put my mind at ease but she hasn’t kept me updated on her progress. I’m going to call her tomorrow because I need to know if I’m going back to campus this weekend to pack up or move in. If I’m going back, I’m going to be so screwed with living in the dorms. I can’t get high outside on campus or in the lounge…I don’t want to get high in the same room as my roommate when our beds are across from each other. The days are so slow being sober and I tried minimizing how much dope I was doing the past few days to ween myself off. I went down from doing it three times a day to one and than I minimized the amount to where it was just smaller specks and I tried scraping particles off the surface of where I was placing it to still get a good amount. it still got the job done but I definitely felt the withdrawal symptoms by using once a day. It’s mostly anxiety, nausea and agitation. Today was really freaking bad. I finally took a shower in two days and cried and wanted to throw psychical objects and slam the cabinets and doors and just be self destructive. I had this unprovoked anger and I was just mad at the world. It was really hard to not act out but I focused on doing laundry instead and I felt better once I finished. I’m still feeling terribly sick. I took 15mg of pepto bismal this morning and in the afternoon to no avail. My Grandma made chicken noodle soup. I also have ginger ale and lightly salted Ritz crackers I’ve been eating the past few days to help when I feel nauseas but I’m getting sick of eating them. I really like them though :frowning: I don’t know what’s going to happen with school but I’m trying to sober up for it