I made it to my milestone of 30 days sober from sexual addiction. I’m in a couple of therapy groups & doing individual therapy. I’m really struggling with not participating in any sexual activity whatsoever. I feel like I am going crazy. Yet I know that if I give in to any temptations, it will start the vicious cycle all over again. I always try to convince myself that I can just “get it out of my system” & then I’ll feel better. But I know that’s not true. It will take the edge off for like a day or less & then it will be worse. Any tips for dealing with a high sex drive? I don’t even need any sexual stimulation sometimes, either- sometimes it’s the way I’m sitting, or because I am not feeling well, or I am bored. It’s crazy. I feel like I am an abnormal freak & everyone can see how screwed up I am.
Hi there 
My name is Matt and I am a recovering porn / masturbation addict, and I participate in a sex addiction recovery group with sex addicts in my city.
You are not alone. Sex addiction is not a common discussion topic in many public places because of taboos and the idea that “it’s just sex”, but it is undeniably real and deeply problematic for so many people, yourself included.
There are sex addicts here on Talking Sober as well, and various threads on the topic which you can find if you search. Do you identify as male? If so there may be a private thread that could help - let me know and I can check.
Patrick Carnes is a therapist that has developed a strong and well-respected sex addiction recovery program. There are many recovery groups as well, across North America and in many places worldwide.
What did you want to do as a first step in your recovery?
Hi Matt. I am female. I don’t know where I want to start. Does Patrick Carnes write books?
Patrick Carnes is a researcher and clinician specializing in sex addiction recovery:
He has written several course books on the topic, which are used in sex addiction recovery groups:
https://www.drpatrickcarnes.com/books-videos
Sex addiction is a challenging one to face because it is so much a part of most people’s everyday lives. In addiction though, we’ve taken a behaviour and it has become an escape for us; it’s become something we use to distract ourselves and run away from life.
The good news is you can turn it around. The first step is recognizing there’s a problem. After that it’s helpful to look for support. This is a good place to start - we’re all pretty helpful here - but there are more specifically dedicated, focused recovery programs that you can look into:
It’s a discovery process where you explore your history and take ownership of your life, take responsibility for yourself and learn to lead your life, and not to let it be chaotic
You’re a good person and you deserve a safe, sober life where you can be your full self
Thank you so much for all of the info!! I know- most people who are not addicts are able to just view it as a normal part of life & keep it within the normal range. It is difficult to explain to people & I think being a woman that people are surprised- it’s usually seen as a male problem.
Yes absolutely, that is one of the preconceptions people have. In fact there’s good reason to believe sex addiction is as prevalent or nearly as prevalent in women as it is in men. The difference is that women feel generally much more pressured to not “be” that - in many cases what brings them in to treatment is another addiction, maybe alcohol or another drug, and when in treatment they realize the sex addiction has been there all along.
Have you ever considered attending an SA or SLAA group?
I went to an SLAA meeting once a long time ago- but these days with COVID I would prefer to do them remotely.
@GoodFight3 welcome to the TS forums, I’m a recovering sex/porn/masturbation addict. You can go here https://slaafws.org/meetings to find remote meetings.
Thank you so much!!
Totally understandable these days 
They have online meetings here: