Going For it Again

Been through a lot this year. My family doesn’t know my dependency on alcohol, and I never want them to know. Alcohol was once a fun way for me to calm down and have fun but every negative emotion I’ve had in my life comes back when I stop. And I’m not successful or have really much to be happy for without it. I don’t feel like I know who I am anymore without it.I stop drinking and relapse after a week, ignoring everything I worked for to get to quitting. This time I’m really going to try. If I can’t be happy for a while without it, then I’ll suck it up. There’s gotta be some light at the end, right? Thanks for reading/listening. Writing this down helps

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Alcohol, though providing temporary pleasure, is actually a depressant. Once the initial effects wear off it will actually drop your mood below it’s baseline. It will take your body a while to heal. When it comes to mood improvement it took me months before I felt stable again.

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What are you going to do different this time? We’ve all experienced that feeling of not knowing who we are sober. It takes time to find a better version of ourselves but it’s worth it.

That’s the hardest thing I guess for me. And when I start feeling somewhat better (side effects from quitting wise), I find it acceptable to have a drink again which spirals downhill again. But as far as what I’ll try to do different is just focus on the long run. Focus on who I want to be down the road instead of trying to cheat my way to happiness with a drink.

Welcome, and what you said about writing it down helps… well, please keep posting how you feel, think and anything else. Not for anyone else but you. We find the things that work for us—and we work it! So glad you’re here.

Definitly light theres is definitly greater things then what you can imagine on this journey your choosing when you add the days the months a year to your sobriety welcome :slightly_smiling_face: i was in the same spot a year ago with alcohol i dont even know where to begin with all the benefeits that come with it its a rewarding journey a tough one but one that is well worth it !

You are not alone in how u feel. I did the same as you and after about a week or so, I would talk myself into having just a few drinks. It never stopped at just a few, and then the next day I would realize I screwed up again. It’s like an endless cycle that u get stuck in. I also found a release from my emotional trauma through alcohol, and oh I did have a great time while drinking. But I made a lot of bad judgments drunk, that now I know had I been put in that same situation sober, I never would have done it. So for the night drinking, came those happy feelings & a good time, to wake up the next day and instead of feeling once again just like I did before I drank, I also had a whole new set of crap to feel bad about, because of things I did. I know now alcohol won’t erase those feelings & emotions, but temporarily stop them for a night, for them to come back the next day heavier & more extensive than before drinking. I will tell u even knowing that, still hasn’t stopped the feelings of wanting to drink again anyway. It’s hard. But I only take it one day at a time right now. Find happiness in every day that u make it through sober.

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