Hi, this is my first time reaching out to see if what I’m feeling is ok. I’m sober for 35 days and I’m very proud of myself yet I feel so run down and tired. I’m supposed to be this way?
I’m not feeling comfortable with my family they’re always checking up on me and I expected that but I stay open and when I get that phone call I pick up cuz I know that they love me and want the best for me. I’m following up on all the medical appointments,cuź i know I need it for my health and my body has been overworked so much running after that one thing that made me lose everything ,but I dropped it and now I’ve gained everything and more. I don’t feel energetic anymore and it’s not me.
I’m a person who loves to work and get my shit together
But i,t’s not there.why? BTW I’m 64 but I look like a 55 , I’m à female who had been using for 40 some years , I’m on suboxone for 3 times a day.
But every day is a good day for me since I’m clean.
That’s it for now and I hope someone can relate with me.
Welcome to the forum Gina. Hope you can find some support, I found tons of it myself over the years I’m here. Knowing I’m not alone has made all the difference. And reading what you wrote,it seems to me you’re doing all the right things, including looking for peer support right here.
We have to learn to feel our feelings. Which takes time. The good and the bad, we have to experience it, learn to deal with it, not hide away from it in substance abuse like we did for so long. And you are! Proud of you lady. Keep going.
Take your time to look around, to read, to interact when you feel like it. Know that you are doing the best for yourself you possible can. And it will get better. One day at a time. Welcome again and big hugs to you.
That right there Gina. The most important thing in recovery for me has been learning that the opposite of addiction is connection. Connection to other people, to my own inner world, to the world at large. You’re not alone friend.
35 days is huge, be so proud of yourself! After 40 years of running, your body is finally exhaling, and that “run down” feeling might be just your system finally being safe enough to rest and repair.
I think you aren’t losing your spark, you’re just healing from the inside out and that can feel exhausting. Even more when your brain chemistry is readjusting.
Thank you so much for ur words , but I am really glad I found this community I love it so i can open up and know that you’re all understanding what I mean and what I am going through. I’m having issues understanding the way to move around in it but I’m learning how. Mno thanks again and one day at a time…..
Congratulation on 35 days!
Sounds that you have loving support, that’s great.
Have a good read around and contribute where you feel comfortable. You for sure are not alone.
Here’s a linklist to start, tons of information, shares and wisdom around this forum. Keep us posted how you are doing and keep in mind that sharing helps
Thank you for ur words of encouragement . I just realized that I missed a good chunk of my world. I raised my 3 kids and I have 3 kids whole mean the world to me…they love me and I never let them know about me until they were 19 /20 years old. I was a functioning addict and did let them experience their childhood. But I have so much shame and guilt how can I work through it.
Hi Gina and welcome to a fantastic group of people.
This is long game thinking. But it will happen if you put in some work. The journey to getting there can be rewarding and fun as well.
But start slow, baby steps, slow way down, make everything you do have a small but meaningful purpose, and don’‘t drink while you do those things. ODAAT
We all know these feelings of shame and guilt. But in my opinion, they are not helpful for recovery. It is what it is and we all can’t change the past.
What we can do: Build a future and a life that we don’t need to feel bad about. Actions show louder than words and thoughts. Look at yourself with grace and kindness. You need and deserve it
after that one thing that made me lose everything ,but I dropped it and now I’ve gained everything and more. I don’t feel energetic anymore and it’s not me.
, but I am really glad I found this community 
I love it so i can open up and know that you’re all understanding what I mean and what I am going through. I’m having issues understanding the way 
to move around in it but I’m learning how. Mno thanks again and one day at a time…..
how can I work through it.
