I cannot decide whether to attend AA or not. I like the fellowship and the support, but i do not believe in the AA doctrine (powerlessness, God can be a doorknob, perpetually recovering for life etc). I am using the tools i have learned in SMART recovery and am 8 days sober …but i also feel like i need the support/friendship of others who share my struggle. I don’t know whether i should still go to AA mtgs just to be around other people in my situation or to go it alone and get all my support online… i also wonder how AA could help me when i don’t believe in their theories of things…any advice?
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The struggle is real, I’m too very much conflicted… Have you been to a meeting? Im planning to go to my first one this week… Im going with an open mind… Not sure if i believe in higher power but im planning to refer to my biological father (died of alcohol complications) when / if god is mentioned… I signed up for online meetings and planning to join soon…
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Yes I’ve been to quite a few over the years. I don’t have any problem with God… i have issues with what they teach. I don’t believe in any “allergy” to alcohol. I don’t believe that alcoholism is a disease, etc… i wish we had more SMART meetings here because the ones we do have are not convenient for me to get to and i can’t go. I really can’t make up my mind what to do!
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I know very little of AA ethos although allergy and disease bit I’m already diagreeing too!
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I can tell you if you wanted to attend my meetings I would welcome you every time! I’m big on the steps for my recovery but I believe it is your program not mine. So do what ever helps you. You should get as much help as you can and if that means you want the AA meetings and SMART recovery then I say do it. My first thought is your question was like the newcomer does he have a right to be there(because he really does not have all the AA knowledge yet) but yes he needs some help so welcome to the meeting
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I respect your views on the allergy, however I would be inclined to disagree with you. For me the craving symptoms made sense in that when I got a taste of alcohol my control often went and I just consumed more and more without knowing or really realising what I was doing. When I don’t drink, I really don’t think about it at all.
I researched it further and scientific studies have shown “some” alcoholics metabolism break down the acetone more slowly than “normal” drinkers and this produces the craving effect.
I have other allergies, hayfever and certain fruits, so this has really made sense to me and helped me immensely in my quest to stay sober.
I acknowledge there are many different forms of alcoholism and alcohol problems, for me this made the most sense.
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I think you should use every resource that works for you. If you enjoy the meetings, keep going. It really doesn’t matter what your views are as long as you do recovery in different aspects that work for you. For many in AA, they use Buddha or a God of their understanding (doesn’t mean it has to be a Christian God or a door knob)It could be the creation of the universe or whatever. The point is to put something above your addiction and your own ego. (Let’s get real…we used to worship the drink/drug) Anyways, no one can tell you how to do your recovery.
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Started step work this week and am using “A Women’s Way through the 12 steps”- not sanctioned by AA but really changed my mind about the issues I had with the original 12 steps and my Higher Power is Karma
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I think that if we get a little bit from each and every one of theses Associations and if it helps us that we can learn so be it we’ve learned from it all. That not one is the key but there are many keys to staying clean and Serene and sober. And God is not the same to everybody we each have a different higher power. Some of us look at Jesus, and some looking to Buddha, and some of us look at not being at all, so they may need a door knob or a bush in the middle of the field. Look Moses went up on the mountain and spoke to Jesus behind a bush. So whatever it takes as long as we all get clean and sober. I’ve been to both and NA seems to be mostly an younger crowd. Where AA seems to be mosstly an older crowd. And they have different traditions. I know nothing about SMART.
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I think whatever brings you comfort, support, knowledge, etc during your journey is what you should do. Go and check it out and take what resonates for YOU. Every little bit helps!!
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I’m just off to my meeting with my sponsor now. Have been studying Bills story this week and got so much identification. I get lots of identification and motivation from the meetings too
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Lisa I am in exact position like you. I actually posted a similar post last month.
In the end you have to keep exploring and find the meetings that you like.
I dont follow the steps… I have been sober 42 days today (
) but I attend the meetinga for support.
I dont want to feel I am alone on this fighf even though ots my personal choice to stay sober.
I go to 4 meetings a week.
1 We Agnostics where they dont talk about God
2 Yoga meeting where they try to connect you with spiritual power
3 Speakers… here you just listen to someone elses struggle
4 at a beach where I go for my Sundays.
I do own a book that i have never opened but I love the enviorement at my meetings.
Some will push you to follow steps, get an sponsor… other people wont. Unfortunately you would have to keep searching until you find the ones where you feel you fit.
Good luck!
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Sounds like your looking for a reason to not give it a chance and your staying close minded to what people are really saying…
Bottom line these people found a way out of alchoholism/ addiction…at some point they and myself included have to give up the idea of trying to control my drinking or drugging and surrender to a set of ideas that I only thought I understood but never really did until I went through the work the first time…something I had to learn the hard way my friend is if I’m going to meetings to just not use then I’m still trying to control my world-
The differences or doctrines you are speaking of that you disagree with have worked for a lot of people…the same people that lead successful lives apart from the drink or drug problem…maybe they know something you don’t know…and I’m not trying to be controversial but I mean let’s face it…they know a thing or two you don’t about being sober…that’s why this program works…the only people it doesn’t work for is people who are unwilling to give it a fair shot
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That’s a great book
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I won’t agree or disagree with how you feel about the Program. That’s for you to decide. Like Chad said, it’s Your Program, not Mine. It’s just like the support in here. At the end of the day, it takes an alcoholic to Help another alcoholic
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The only requirement to be a member of AA is a desire to stop drinking. You don’t have to do anything else to be a member. In my recovery I found Alcoholics Anonymous is the only thing that has worked. but in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous it stinks clearly that We do not have a monopoly on God or sobriety. Alcoholics Anonymous is not only a way to get sober, but to become better people and live great lives. But if it doesn’t work for you, find something that does keep you sober. And as a last resort, if you can’t stay sober, come back to it and be willing to do things that make you uncomfortable. But only through that as a last resort. Alcoholics Anonymous will never close the doors on you, and will always welcome you with open arms. If you do follow the programmed as it is outlined in the big book, and your life gets better what’s wrong with that?
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I can understand completely where you are coming from and I have myself just begun attending meetings and was blessed enough to find a sponser that I am meeting with this week. I think it has helped me to not become too distracted or to loose focus on the daily struggle we are all going through. I guess it’s helping to hold me accountable in someways and to learn to to see things from a completely different perspective. With alcoholics I think we have reprogrammed our thinking methods and the way we view methods, routines or day to day activities to justify them and I think AA is SLOWLYstarting to help me realize this. I have ALOT of work ahead of me though. But everyone on here is correct find what works for you to help you stay grounded. 8 days is awesome so congrats! 
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Had a meeting with my sponsor this evening and completed step 3 of my programme. He’s been great and feel lucky to have found him as I was finding AA a bit of a challenge at the start as people were always talking about their drinking habits and whilst I did identify with it I was finding it a bit same old same old.
Then I heard him talking at a big book meeting and he was focusing on the recovery and how it had enhanced his life so much, I was honestly about to give up on it before he turned up and without meaning to be disrespectful to others I have met in AA but he was more on my level. I find a lot of the people in here more helpful too so I’m not going to meetings daily but one or two a week and sometimes I’m just meeting my sponsor and not going to meetings, but I realise I need to make an effort to try and help others who are struggling.
One thing that came out of my conversation tonight with my sponsor was realising that instead of managing my life like I thought I was when drinking, alcohol was actually managing me, it was like a moment of clarity. We talked about higher power and how we can’t do it without a higher power and having grown up in Northern Ireland and seen the destruction religion can cause I have been skeptical about the God thing.
But I realised that I can have my own independent thought of a higher power, it doesn’t have to be what others tell me it is. I have always thought we have a higher energy in the universe that we’ll never really understand and scientific discovery by humans is us discovering what that higher power already knows, and sometimes we get it wrong. So for me science does not prove that God does not exist but scientific discovery is us uncovering laws of the universe which have been created by something higher than us.
It’s helping me understand how I work and function at my best and the key thing is that I remain sober and I have come to accept that. It’s hard sometimes as I loved nothing more than a nice pint, but unfortunately it was rarely just one and I became a self destructive mess towards the end of my drinking and I need to keep my higher power close to help me keep that at the forefront of my mind and stay sober.
Sorry for rambling on but just sharing my thoughts and I think AA or any recovery programme which works for you should be approached with an open mind if you really want to recover.
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