Huge relapse last night. I don’t remember the whole night but I do remember making a few drunk phone calls. Made an ass of myself…again! I convinced myself I could just have 1 beer. I can’t do that. Feel like crap today emotionally and physically.
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The fight turns on a single drink. This is the drink that matters…the first drink. If you say “no” to this drink, you win 100%. If you say “no” to the first drink there can’t be a second or third or eighth. There can’t be drunk dialing, drinking and driving, hurtful drunken words, blackouts, or any of the other regrettable fallout that always begins with a single drink.
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And a day wasted today right?!? Beating yourself up and having the fear.
Do you think you can go to a bar and not drink or u need to avoid totally?
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I really dont go to any bars. I can go to dinner and not order a drink though. Its the drinking at home that I struggle to control
Remember - one drink is too many, and 20 is not enough
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I am with you on not going to bars but I would drink my beer at home. Living alone I would find myself on a slippery slope! I know you don’t live alone but it took some time to change my thinking as far as living my life without wasting it. It seems foolish now the further I get from it.
Glad you’re here @MommaHope!
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Remember these feelings, remember this post.
Because you will think, “hey, maybe just a beer, what could it hurt,” again. And seriously, we all have been there. We all like to pretend we can do the one beer…and sure some days we do. But the days we can’t…those days add up…that shit sucks the life out of our souls. That shit keeps us mired in a half life of regret, hangovers, trying to ‘control’ the uncontrollable.
And you know the beauty of it all? You never have to feel that way again. You don’t have to pick up that drink again. It is okay to let that fantasy go. To get on with your life, one you are proud of. A life with fewer regrets and no hangovers. Not a perfect life, but not one where we intentionally make ourselves miserable drunken assholes…for what? I have never in my life been happier or prouder of myself than since I stopped torturing myself over drinking. Life is not perfect. But it is manageable and I no longer have to feel defeated and hate myself. Let go of that old life…you know what it offers. Embrace the life that is waiting for you …free from the yoke of alcohol. 
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Glad you’re here and glad you are working on being safe.
Putting one drink in my mouth is like putting one bullet in my skull …doesn’t matter how many more go in, the first one does the damage.
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