I don’t know what to do with the support system I have. At first it was good. Now it is a nightmare! I feel like he is jealous or is afraid of me succeeding. He wanted me to do this and so I did, for me. Now im in rehab and only taking my subs to him I’m not clean. And he beats me down. He doesn’t understand this process. I’m taking these to not get sick my mg are getting lowered each mth till its none. I couldn’t do it on my own, I tried! And failed. I am proud of where I am today. I wish someone would see this and be proud too. Oh well, you was brought into this earth alone I guess through this process and till I’m dead, I’ll be alone. Team me till then!
That is the hardest part about working through this. Home… mine isn’t so good here lately and through working the steps ive figured out some triggers which alot came down to my Relationship. Pinterest was a great guide to teach me about being a Narcissist. Which is whom I live with. It’s hard. Everyday I grow stronger to get back on my feet to be able to do this alone and close this chapter for good and move on be HAPPY not drained completely. The other night we were fighting and he brought alcohol in front of me. My fav. Liquor. He drank a little and poured it out in front of me.cause He didn’t want anymore. He is a huge reason why Ive started this journey and.little did I know he’s the one who started tearing me.down to nothing. He is a hypocrite. If in our time of most need we dont feel the love… when will we. I’ve waited so long. Thinking If i hold out longer we will be happy again and it wont. Do you your beating this addiction one day at a time. Your getting help. He doesnt want to.see you in control. That is less control he has. It’s all mind games to men.
My issue too is my relationship with my old man of 21 years. Of all people I would think he had my back. But I’m learning no one has your back more then yourself. We been through alot but all things come to an end when it comes to my sobriety! Thank you all here. This is a awesome site that I found. I need people like you all in my life. Every positive thing I can get, helps! It hurts to have this disease that no one understands.
I have used subs when I could get them to get off opiates. Best friend and her bf are both 1.5 clean off of everything through sub maintenance. They’re still taking them as prescribed a year and a half later! Tapering and all! And I Would have stayed on them if I could have. They took away the UNMANIGABILITY and insanity, wreckage and criminal activity of my opiate usage. No need to obsess over my next fix or compromise myself, others for my next fix. And no shame from those old behaviors, which is the best thing…
Hang in there. How is it anyone else’s place to give you input on what’s right for YOU. it’s not ok. You’ll hear from pro and against most anywhere you go for support on being clean. Take what you need from what you hear and leave the rest. Its not importany. To me, addiction means my life is unmanageable. Try to figure out what it means to you then you may be secure in your choices. And tell anyone who hounds you, who is supposed to support you, either get educated or stfu about it. Nicely of course.
If you think you can not stay sober with him putting you through this then you may need to back off for a while, til you are more solid in your footing. But you knew that already …