I am on day 254. Im at a work conference, and managed to resist the large quantities of wine at dinner. Then I got back to my hotel room and there was a tiny little glass of free port by the bed. Before thinking it through, I sipped it. Kind of like muscle memory, it felt automatic. But I want to choose, and I know not drinking is better for me, and even a sip makes it feel easier to drink the next time, which is dodgy territory. I didnt then drink more or do anything crazy, but it made me realize how easily I could go back to drinking. Its kind of scary. I need to take time when I get home, doing some worksheets and writing out reminders and plans for temptations.
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I can only dream of 254 days 
Stay strong stay with it 
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Yep, that’s a muscle memory for you… Ive fallen in its trap a month ago during a bbq… Someone made apple wine (!!!) and he was going round offering to try… Took me by surprise and i said yes… I had a small sip and thrown the rest… Verdict - it was more like cider and it tasted horrible!
I don’t believe in borderline relapses. You willingly took a sip. That’s a relapse and time to start the clock over.
Just my opinion
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Agreed. Sorry.
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Slippery slope my friend.Up to you if you want to restart the clock just so you know that doesnt delete the almost year you have done, amazing job
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Is good to catch it in time, before it gets worse, congrats on your sobriety.
I think if starting the clock over will make you lose faith in being able to go so long again then it wouldn’t be worth starting it over. With all those sober days you’ve had no sense letting one drink drag you back in. congratulations on your sobriety that’s a long ways into it!
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Thanks all. Yes, I see the point of view that there’s no middle ground or borderline. But for me, this honestly felt like a wakeup call, but not like a real relapse. A real relapse would involve drinking a whole glass of something. Maybe its a false distinction, I dont know, I get the people who say that. I do know there can be an ego thing involved in counting days, and maybe its good for me to see myself as back at the beginning, for humility. Good to think of each day as a new challenge. But it also feels a bit fake to reset. I dont know. I also think the semantics in itself doesnt matter The main thing isnt really the counter or the definition, it’s being sober and our best selves for today, and learning from mistakes. This was a mistake, whether or not it counts as a relapse. Im not trying to pretend it was ok.
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I am just happy for you that one sip did not result in a bender. Phew. Dodged a bullet there.
My opinion: As alcoholics, we know it is not the sixth drink that is the problem, it is the first drink, the first sip. For those of us who have been at this for awhile, we need to be good standard bearers for those that follow us on this very difficult journey to lifelong sobriety. Dont tempt fate. Be constantly vigilant so as not to return to a life you hated. That one sip, that “just a taste,” could be disasterous and lead you back to your drunken ways.
You should know I am supportive of your efforts for lifelong sobriety and you should not take my opinion about what constitutes a relapse - which has been discussed numerous times on this forum - as being critical of you. We are teamates so to speak. But I care about everyone on this site who truly desires to stay sober.
Whatever you decide re: relapse is your call (aka what’s in you heart). Just don’t do it again ,
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Thank you so much. I do know that even a sip is extremely dangerous territory, and I know it’s a sign of what I still need to work on in myself. I definitely never want to go back to drinking. I was dependent on it and it was harmful for me and my kids. I know I tried for years to be “moderate”, and I was never really successful longterm, and anyway, I suspect alcohol is pretty bad for your health and brain, even at sort-of-moderate levels. I know that if I had a glass of wine with dinner tonight, Id want 2 or 3 tomorrow, and Id be back to finding it hard to get through an evening without a couple of drinks. I will not do that. I know not drinking is ultimately easier for me than constantly struggling to moderate. If I ever find myself in a similar situation again, I need to throw it down the sink right away. I really appreciate all the responses. Lets all stay sober and keep supporting eachother, and fighting the good fight.
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