Got to change something

So day 1, never really seriously tried, but I think it’s time to kick the booze.

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One day at a time and you will get there. Don’t lose sight of the reason why you quit. Your mind likes to trick you into thinking you can drink normally without the previous side affects.

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Yep that’s the thing, woke up yesterday morning to find I’d done it again, happy drunk in to maniac, fell out with everyone, hurt myself, kept her up all night speaking crap and blaming her for everything… Apparently… In black out phase, I’m Mr Hyde… Apparently a completely different person and scary. It’s been said before, Iver heard it before and I kid myself every time that, I’ll be the good me, that it’s under control. It’s like flipping a coin, sometimes I’m ok, a drunk moron yes, and sometimes I get angry and do and say the worst things. I walked in to a bar thee other night to find I was banned, no clue why, can’t remember, and that happened too many times also… And it’s time to stop finding that kind of thing funny. The hangovers last days and the depression and fear. And it takes too long for the forgiveness I don’t deserve to arrive, usually just enough time to do it all over again.

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And thanks a lot!.. Day one, feels like a cheat and I don’t even really believe that I’ll do this, feels fake… But I guess it’s a start… What else to do…

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Thanks for reaching out, I appreciate it, strange to be doing this as its like admitting something I’m not ready to do, but know I need to, if that makes sense, my mind is saying, hey you don’t need help, it’s conning me in to thinking I’m fine, it knows in a few days it will want a drink, it will get excited at the prospect… And the little stories I will tell myself about, just a few, will happen, and I may just have a few, but then maybe a few more… It knows, it’s dismissing this attempt already, its saying, ‘nahhh we’re fine, all is well, you’ll be in the pub in a few days old buddy’ and tipping me the wink…

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I feel like I’m reading my story! Word for word! I’m
11 days today. Re-read what you wrote in this thread everyday. Take yourself mentally to how you feel right now that you are determined to stop. You can and will do this… just remember how bad you want it right now!

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Your story is very similar to mine. It’s been over a year since my last drink. It will be tough the first few months but then it will get easier

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The next few days will be the hardest, the anxiety will kick in. Just focus on the fact your are going to make this change and you will be better for it.

I belive in you

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That’s going to be it, taking myself to this feeling… Gonna have to force that one, because I forgive myself all the time, once others do it’s like, all is well again. And I gave myself a good talking to, I’ll know better next time!! And I really mean it, that’s the thing, I believe me, what a schmo! I shouldn’t believe me, I’m full of $#@!

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