Gratefully Relieved

Well, that was a first. There i am last night, in the midst of Day 10 and edging to get through, when i choose to text dealer. Naturally he responds and has material waiting for consumption. Obviously, the other part of personality inside is telling me not to and clean/sober almost ten days, keep going, etc. Back and forth. Forth and back. Until I arrange setup for this morning; dealer shows up outside. Despondency and uncertainty ruminating within me…

Well, I went out there and told the ole’ true story of how life goes when I choose to use. Because for me: it’s not just one, it’s one hundred or so. I gave him money for the fuel used to travel, small fee, and did not buy drugs! And you know, we had a genuine deep conversation.

Now this hundred+ dollars is still in me pocketses, I’m still clean, and conscience clear :slightly_smiling_face:. It’s okay to be clean and sober. This happens to be how I’m best suited for life on Earth.

We are more similar than what may seem. Thank you for supporting our journey.

13 Likes

I’m pretty sure most recovered addicts would advise you to delete all your dealers’ numbers. I’m glad you got through it, but you set yourself up and next time you play with fire it is likely to burn you.

It’s hard sometimes to take an action like cutting off contact with using friends/sources. But cutting off that contact is a better gauge of your sobriety than starting to dip yourself back into a using circumstance.

Blessings on your house :pray: as you begin your sobriety.

7 Likes

Agreed. Next time could be the burn. I do need to cut off contact. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

2 Likes

Well done, that’s a huge step and a strong mind !! :facepunch:t2::muscle:t2:

Welcome lifefight and congrats on your 10 days!

1 Like

Congrats! contact that could bring problems, unfortunately are a problem themselves. It is hard to renounce a good conversation, a good while, but considering what alcohol may bring, renounce and say no are worthwhile.

1 Like