Happy you decided to continue with the fight
So easy for our minds to go into automatic pilot and trick us into old ways…
Stay strong and have a nicotine free day!
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I know its disheartening when you slip especially when its unintentionally. I personally had quit for 2 years and found myself buying and smoking a pack whwn i had a received bad news - did this without realizing that i quit smoking - (Unfortunately i was not able to give it up after that until about 1.5 yrs ago. Im glad you found it disgusting and immediately restarted your clock.
Hold onto the bad taste this last cig gave you and hopefully that will be your reminder any time you pick one up. Do know your mind will play many tricks on you - the longer you obstain the stronger youll get. 
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Its not a waste. Your doing great! You learned that you dont even like them anymore!
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Yeaaa nice one!
These are just in my recent emoji section and they seemed fun
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My anxiety is UP at the moment. I basically experience the feeling of anxiety as hours long cigarette cravings. Or that is what I relate it to anyway. Distractions helps in the moment but once I stop it comes right back.
Saying that, I have been enjoying trying some stuff as distractions including playing my clarinet, which I stopped in my early teens. Around the time I started smoking and drinking of course! So that has been fun.
Anyway, I was looking up nicotine and anxiety to try and understand the physiology of it. So I can try and unlink the association of anxiety to cigarettes. Not sure it is quite what I was looking for, but found this helpful:
- Coping Replacement - The other, forgotten reason that nicotine contributes to anxiety is because it essentially replaces your own natural ability to cope. Stress coping is a mental skill. When you don’t use it, you lose it. Smoking numbs anxiety but it doesn’t actually help you cope (since nothing you take for anxiety is true “coping”), and so your ability to cope with stress without nicotine gets worse. That’s why so many people turn back to nicotine when they’re stressed - their mind and body don’t know how to deal with even minor amounts of stress without it.
Essentially back to basics with self care and mental health stuff. Which is a drag really but I know it is long overdue. Got to put the work in to get the results.
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Yeahhhh! That’s such great news.
Congratulations 
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Great share! Thanks 
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Hey @siand …I’m just catching up on this thread from a while back. Congrats on unburdening yourself of cigarettes! I always appreciate the transparency and reflection of your posts. If I remember correctly, I think you do yoga right?
Your mentioning of anxiety as hours long cigarette cravings really struck a chord with me as it makes me realize that I have very much the same thing that happens. It’s not for a cigarette necessarily…but just an hours long sensation of seeking to end the discomfort…then sense that I need something from outside to quell the inner agitation. Now…instead of a line or a drink or a cigarette…it might be a Rice Krispie treat…or zoning out with TV.
All in all, I know these to be WAY less destructive for me…so, I try to have compassion for myself when I am going through something difficult and end up self soothing with food or tv. At the same time though, in the long run, I’d like to get to the bottom of these maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Two books that have really shown me a possible way out are “Peace from Anxiety” by Hala Khouri and “Deep Listening” by Jillian Pransky. If you end up getting either of them, let me know. I’d love to dive back into them!
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Thank you so much for that share. I knew i was anxious to have a cigarette when i quit but didnt realize that cigarettes had taken over my minds natural ability to cope with anxiety. Just another reason to stay away from them.
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This was my experience as well…what to do with ‘anxiety’ / stress / feelings. It all felt so incredibly foreign to me because literally always pushed ‘it’ away.
Mindfulness has been most helpful now so many years later. But back then it is when I started running … something about the physicality of working my body helped to move ‘all that’ out and I got to make new pathways and associations.
I also support finding books that deal with anxiety / mindfulness. As well as finding the healthy coping mechanisms that help u thru. You also have a lot on your mind Sian, so it is understandable and normal and human to feel stressed. 
It is okay to be stressed / anxious. Especially when giving up your old coping mechanisms. It took my body a good deal of time (about a year nioctine free) to settle and heal from the after effects of a lifetime of nicotine. Be gentle with your process, YOU ARE DOING THIS. 
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Today somehow is harder than the previous few.
Probably because I haven’t had much sleep,
Or because I’m at work and a lot of my coworkers are stressed and I can’t help but pick up their energy,
Or maybe just because I’m an addict.
But 
It’ll be ok. Just need to get through the moments
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Im sorry todays challenging you. Youve got this. If possible try your coping mechanisms to keep your mind occupied, take yourself to a “happy” place so that you can start to block the stressful energy.
Wish you luck- you are stronger than your addiction
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Soooo goooood!!!
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Shared this one before, going to share it again. Really useful one imo. Not just for quitting smoking too. Anyway. This one from Bertram, gardener from Vancouver, who succumbed to COPD caused by smoking two years ago. Not forgotten. NOPE as in not one puff ever. We can all do it! 
Fighting craves can wear you out… next time perhaps give this a try… When a crave starts… find somewhere to relax ~ lay down or a find a comfortable chair, standing will work though. Close your eyes… relax your body… remain calm, allow your crave complete control… allow it to run it’s course ~ completely ~ start to finish… until it stops… allow it to enter your mind… The first time may be intense, sort of like a vibration running through your head… relax… remain calm, lower your shoulders often, allow the crave to run it’s course… until it stops, you will be okay… … Embrace your craves, experience them… learn from them…ride them out… every time… ride them out… you will be okay… Craves are proof nicotine levels are lowering… embrace them… learn from them… Practicing this method will allow the very essence of your addiction to manifest itself… your courage will grow… There will be anxiety/stress… walking bathing or light household activities will help… try to walk often… namaste.”
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Yesterday I had a panic attack and smoked 2 cigarettes in a row in only 5 minutes. 
I am still trying. I have reset the timer…
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So how did smoking make you feel? Maybe there’s some lessons to be learnt here. Glad to see you not giving up. X
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I felt bad for giving in.
It did help me calm down though.
I think because of “regular breathing” more than anything.
I said, i don’t drink, i don’t get high, i cant sh, i cant sleep, what can I do? Nothing!
And i asked a coworker for a cigarette. They gave me 2.
I know that all of this was more due to my mental health needing help than really wanting to smoke. But it’s what i went to in the moment. As the least of all evils…
I am determined to quit though. So i will keep trying
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Yes you are so right about being kind and compassionate with these choices. As @SassyRocks says I have some stuff going on (don’t we always?!) and I have recently reduced my antidepressants and then there are hormones. So lots of reasons to be kind! Although I do need to chill out on the biscuits/ cookies 
That seems to happen in the evenings so I am going to try and plan in some sweet but satisfying, more wholesome snacks.
I haven’t been doing yoga lately but I can feel it pulling me… I have started leaning back into meditation practice though as a first self care step. That feels right at the moment.
Thank you for the book recommendations. Sound great! 
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This is exactly what happens when I smoked after 3 weeks. I gave myself an excuse to smoke again because Iam not drinking. But that smoke gave me nothing…
It’s so hard to get back into the momentum after a relapse. From today I start journaling everday, I hope when I have cravings and read back into my journal my mind would understand easier why I should not pick up again.
This is what helped me with the alcohol cravings before, so I don’t understand why I didn’t use this tool before with quiting nicotine 
Good that you keep trying, I will do the same. Never give up!
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