Guilt and Shame

I was cleaning, consolidating and getting rid of old stuff while listening to music. I noticed an ID sticking out underneath my TV. Pulling it out I knew right off the bat it belonged to my ex wife. Flashbacks rushed through my mind. So much guilt. I’m in tears as I’m typing this. I know this is going to make me a better man. I admit what I did was wrong and wreckless. Throwing away a perfectly good relationship for my own selfish vices.

I swear to God I’m never doing anything so petty and foolish again!

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I find myself haunted by my past mistakes sometimes. I’m sober over 700 days now, but back in August I crossed paths with the spouse of the woman I’d had an affair with. I was at a festival with some friends at the time. This guy didn’t see me and there was no interaction, thank God, but it still ruined the day for me. I was so filled with shame and guilt as I recalled the terrible things I have put he and my wife through. I make a living amends to him everyday by not having any interaction with his wife (despite her attempts to contact me) and by not allowing myself to lust after other married women.

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Thank you for sharing Mike. I’ve noticed holding and supressing these types of emotions accomplishes absolutely nothing for me. I’m very fortunate to have ran across this platform. I get to vent and listen to wonderful people like you and everyone else. Does good for my Soul.

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