Guilt/shame

I’m finding it so hard to not let others opinion of me consume me. Like my kids father and his family for example, I lived with them before my use was exposed and everyone found out AND they are all I know since moving to Colorado and all I had as far as family goes(and even then they barely liked me) and have since dropped me like a bad habit since they found out and now I find myself doing things in my sobriety and hoping they know I’m sober and doing good. I know they shouldn’t matter but I can’t help it.

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Congrats on your sobriety Lishaunna. Welcome to the forum. I hope this place can be as supportive and helpful to you as it has been to me. It helped me in building a new life for myself. For some (maybe lots) of us, our old social circle doesn’t work anymore. There can be just too much baggage. From your side, from the other side, from both sides. Working on new healthy relationships with people, old and new, is a big part of recovery. It’s hard work but it’s so worth it! Hoping this can be a new start for you. Wishing you all success in your sober journey. Hugs.

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Hello :wave: I can totally relate, others peoples opinions of me used to seriously weigh me down, it used to give me major anxiety and one little thing could upset my whole day.
Something amazing I’ve found as I get more comfortable in my sobriety is that other people’s opinions just don’t bother me so much anymore, I think it has to do with me feeling the struggle, it was hard to get me where I am now almost 6 months sober, and it feels good. My days feel good, I feel like I am doing good things and my opinion of my myself getting higher everyday. I guess its all down to my insecurity at the end of the day, when I was drinking I felt bad, I knew what I was doing was bad and it left me having a very low opinion of myself.
Nowadays, people can talk all they want, but I know my truth now and I am confident in my actions everyday, so other people don’t matter really. Actually seeing your post has just made me realise this change in me, so thank you for sharing :pray: be strong girl and power through! The rewards are so great

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Welcome to the forum and congrats on your sobriety! I learned early in sobriety that what others think about me is none of my business. Since then I let it go. I’m not wasting my precious time on trying to change people’s opinions and I’m not going to let it rent space in my head. Now, I surround myself with positive people. Unfortunately, by doing this, I had to cut some family and friends out of my life. It’s their loss not mine.

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Lisha,
Congratulations on your sobriety! I like to think of guilt and shame this way;

Shame - I am a bad person.
Guilt - I have done some bad things.

You are not a bad person, none of us are. We’ve all done bad things, but have accepted responsibility, no longer in denial, and working on our recovery. We have to accept we can not change everyone’s mind about us, and were they with is to begin with? It’s easy to point fingers and blame from the cheap seats, like hecklers do at a show.

Wish you the best!
Don

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