I’ve debated sharing and well I’m gonna share because I want at least one person to know its okay to be a fuck up, its okay to try and try again. There is no right path, sobrity for me gives me the hope of changing my ways, of learning new coping strategies and teaches me to be a better fucking human. So I want to start typing my lifes mishaps for myself to let go, to move forward and grow.
There will be a lot of self destructiob , self hate, sexual issues, physical and mental abuse. I apologise if it triggers anyone, I wanna share why I was and still am broken picking up soon many pieces but this time I’m ready, I want to do this!
I have always been the black sheep of my family, I’ve always been the one who has stood up in front of the abusive people and got a few black eyes, busted up lips, broken ribs and a stay in the hospital once or twice… The first time I was 4, I remember sitting on my mums lap… I was Mute till I was 8, I remember the sensation of feeling my dads hand hit my cheek. I at 4 took a smack off my father to protect my mother… I was always my mother’s protecter another time my step dad shoved my mum into the deep end of the swimming pool age 6 I jumped in after her… I couldn’t even fucking swim but I had to jump in!
My mother would hit me with ruler or a book when I would make my stupid noises, you see I’ve always had tourettes and was conditioned not to make the noise or I’d be struck.
I don’t know anyone in my family who hasnt hit me, I remember confronting my father and my mother in my late teens, I remember fighting back and being labelled a cunt… Its funny what you latch onto. Its funny what triggers you CUNT is one of those words I still can’t stand to hear!
Wow thank you for sharing your story!!! My heart feels for you! You have been threw allot! Im sorry your hurting!!! If you ever need to talk im here! And i get you!! Your right there’s no right path to sobriety! But by trying everyday is the key in my eyes! Xoxo dont give up! Your stronger then you think! Xoxoxo
Damn, that’s tough. Without Tourettes I can’t even shut myself up, so I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you. I can barely imagine how trapped you must have felt in your own body when you weren’t allowed to make a noise.
You’re very courageous Danni. Thank you for opening up to all of us. I wish I had words to take all your pain away. Your story brought tears to my eyes. No child should ever have to go through what you did.
You should very very proud of how far you are in this journey what you been through should have never happened at the same time its made you into who you are today my respects go out to you my friend !!
That takes great courage to stand up for your mom
Your story is very heart felt & beautiful - you sounds so strong! I’m very sorry you had to deal with that though - I’m sure it has left you with many demons. I plenty myself, but they are different.
Sending you tons of love & more strength to face them
My dog…
She’s 7 now and through all of the years we’ve had together she has been at my side.
I had just brought Luna I was meant to buy a pug or something small but instead I saw her advertised and she was the only black pup out of a litter of 8 the rest were like a sandy colour. I fell in love and brought her home.
I brought her for two reasons I was at a point of self destruction so bad I would be out weeks at a time, working, going to uni and then literally having a lot of sex and taking a lot of drugs.
My body at 25 was fucked…
To help me stay in and be a good pet owner
To have someone love me who needed me.
Through all my drama, up and downs of life this one has remained a big part of my life
Still to this day she has been a big help with my addiction we go for endless walks that last for hours as I get lost in my music and she’s happy to be outside.
She sits with me while I cry and she listens to my endless garbage that rolls out of my mouth.
Too cute! So happy for you having a hairy friend, they mean so much to us and can be such a big help in our lives. I had to put my buddy down last summer but am so grateful for the time we had, she was my everything. Looking forward to a new dog eventually, when the time is ripe. Dogs ARE a (wo)mans best friend!
Where do I start with my lovely and beautiful Zoom-friend Danni, whom will take me the Zoo one day! I know she has the sense of humor to my liking! The strong witty sense of humor that I admire, she has. I love that she is spontaneous and truthful…call it Tourette’s and I’ll call it a fantastic part of her that I wouldn’t trade for the world because then it wouldn’t be HER! PS Love apple pie with vanilla ice cream. My Zoom-friend Danni has a sidekick doggy that is too cute to NOT be a stuffed animal, I want to hug and him and kiss him all over. He thinks he’s human because he’s loved so much…pull up a chair, plate, and fork Luna so I can serve you dinner Once upon a time, my Zoom friend Danni was told that her imperfections were wrong. But I think she has figured out that they are not wrong and has valued her caring and courageous heart of gold. I am proud to know her and I hope everyone who meets her feels privileged, because she’s one in a million
Too cute! So happy for you having a hairy friend, they mean so much to us and can be such a big help in our lives. I had to put my buddy down last summer but am so grateful for the time we had, she was my everything. Looking forward to a new dog eventually, when the time is ripe. Dogs ARE a (wo)mans best friend!
Once upon a time, my Zoom friend Danni was told that her imperfections were wrong. But I think she has figured out that they are not wrong and has valued her caring and courageous heart of gold. I am proud to know her and I hope everyone who meets her feels privileged, because she’s one in a million 
and then thought I’ll try “Dirty Graham”. That has got to be better. Wrong!! 
