I was having a good stretch of not drinking and yesterday was rough. I sat down with a drink, had it, and threw the rest away. First time in my life a voice was screaming to stop, reminding me I will lose my husband and kids. Not proud of the drink but am honestly not that upset. It seems I am mentally ready for this, not being forced by family. My husband knew and was pissed but I explained this to him and he calmed down a bit ((still angry though). Is this as good of a thing as I think? Should I be more upset that I drank or relish that I now have that voice telling me to stop? I’ve never had a conscience about getting lit so this is new!
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That is a very tricky question. I’m VERY glad you threw the rest away. Did you drink because of the rough day? You are going SO well, and it seems like the stakes are really, really high. I do understand that you feel proud that the desire/trigger passed and that you could stop. I guess Hubby would be frightened that you were relapsing. Maybe a set plan for shitty days - just in case. I wouldn’t play nice with the addiction - tell that urge to get lost 
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Hi there! I don’t think you should beat yourself up too badly, you husband is most likely cross or upset because you are still under the spell of drinking HOWEVER you fought hard once you had taken the initial bate and that is a great achievement which you should be proud. Take this as an event to learn what made you get to the point of drinking and see if you can put things into place to take your mind away from the temptation of thinking the answer is in the bottom of a bottle in future. You did own up to your husband which from my experience is the hardest thing. I’m in the same place as you having my family on the line if I carry on drinking. I’ve tried quitting for the in the past and it has never worked, this time I am quitting for me and current feeling great at 19.5 days. Pick you chin up and move forward 
️
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You did good! Be proud of the fact you woke up and smelt the coffee, I am betting you have scared yourself silly by doing it and it will be an isolated incident - learn from it and move on in your sobriety 
I am in danger of losing my hubby too so I know how you feel x
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Fuck no, you’re doing great.
To stop mid drink and pour the rest out, that’s progress for an addict. Confront the issue of why you desired that drink and what was going through your mind as you bought or poured it- tackling this issue will solidify your abstaining conviction and help align your mind with your goals. Good job!
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@LRR, good for you for stopping after one! I would be really extra vigilant over the next several days. Can you go to any meetings? (I can’t remember if you do those.) Just listening to other people helps. I am missing my meetings right now since my kids are on break and it’s been harder to get to them… You’re doing great!!
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Lol @Success my thoughts exactly. But seriously, that’s friggin awesome that you showed control. For an alcoholic it can take just one drink, and then it’s on. You stopped, were honest and listened to that voice inside of you.
One of my sober friends told me that even if I ever did relapse, it wouldn’t be fun because now I know better and would feel incredibly guilty. Knowing I wouldn’t get the same joy out of it helps with the cravings.
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hang in there girl at the end of the day the biggest winner will be you
Thanks Y’All. Like I said, I’m not proud of caving to start but I stopped. I don’t want to go back so I’m trying to look at is I took 10 steps forward and one step back. Never in my life have I told myself to stop. I’m not taking it for granted, I really want this!
I say you did great. You almost let the stress get to you but you beat it. That is a success. Next time you won’t pour the drink.
Congratulations.