I don’t think anyone is disappointed or let down by you. You’re only accountable to yourself. No one is giving up on you either. Some people get sobriety without a lot of apparent difficulty, while others struggle for years for it. I’m not truly sober myself even. I do well for extended periods of time, then fall off the horse. I’m not quitting either. Keep at it.
I’m sick of picking up. My brother reemed me out. He’s in recover and has 8 months. Thats all I’ll say about that. His story is not for me to say
My mental health was so bad for so long I had some type of seizers from the abuse I put on myself
I havnt had a seizer sence my fear and head calmed down years and years ago
Thank God because he took all my fear and turned it to bravery and strength and that’s some sort of merical
Now it’s the addiction. If god can take away all the pain of mental illness, God can do anything
God made a path and I will use my free will to travel that path and the next journey God wants me to take is sobriety and recovery
After all the reminiscing I did today, i know God is with me
Life is a gift we learn not to take it for granted more as the days go by and we get older. Im deal with mental health problems too but try not to let that define me, caused me to do alot of stuff i wish i hadnt but im a work i progress and just try daily to deal with situations as they come, its tough but by the grace of God we learn to manage and cope with all the bad stuff that can happen.
The only thing that matters is that you get back up and keep going. As long as you do that, you haven’t failed. Everyone’s recovery experience is different. Keep your resolve strong. If you fall, use that as a tool. Look at why you fell. What were your thoughts and emotions before you took action? Really try to figure them out, then come up with a plan for when these thoughts and emotions crop up again.
Try not to dwell on feelings of negativity toward yourself when you relapse. It happened. No amount of beating yourself up will change that. Just keep going. You’ve got this. You can do this.
No need to apologize! I’m glad you came back and still are talking to your sponsor. Hit those meetings and keep checking in. Good deal to avoid drinkers. Try to make sober friends where you live.
You are here and you are not giving up! That’s huge! I will talk to you. As a world class relapser of 50 years I completely understand where you are. 7 days ago I had a blackout that last 12 hours. I functioned completely normally but do not remember 1 damn thing. Since that night I haven’t had a drink. 7 days and white knuckling it. Talked to my PCP She put me on Topiromate for cravings and it is helping. I keep thinking maybe this time! Don’t give up!! God has a plan for you and He will never stop loving you or listening. Praying for strength and peace for you friend:pray: