Had to reset.... ugh

Just had to reset. I’m really bummed. Not full porn at all, or masturbation, just reading those stupid sex confessions but it was in the same mind set and intention as it is with porn.

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Good to keep yourself accountable. It sounds like you may need to do some stepwork to get to root causes of your acting out. Do you have a group you can attend?

Neal made a good post of options:

Take care brother and never give up. There’s a reason you isolate; there’s a reason all addicts isolate and escape. You’re building a new way of life - you need support to learn how to be in the world, sober.

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Way to hold yourself accountable. Keep working to get better at getting better. You’ll defeat this.

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I get being bummed about it, but you’re being self aware and that’s so very important. Just keep your eyes on what you want and keep going.

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It isn’t clear to me what you did or why it should be a reset. However, I recognize that your intentions are good. As long as you’re being honest with yourself and everyone else, that should keep you on track. Enjoy the journey.

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Well I wanted to watch porn, or read erotic stories maybe, but instead to try and satisfy I just looked up “sex confessions”. It’s just text about different sexual experiences of others in kind of a dirty way. The reason I reset is basically because I reasoned my way into to try and get that same hit that pornography gave me. And I didn’t feel the regret I felt after a full relapse, however I thought “wait what am I even doing this for? Oh yeah because I don’t want to watch porn so this makes me feel a high but isn’t ‘as bad’ “. Which is true, but I figure if I can be accountable for smaller things, it will help keep me away from bigger things.

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