Good to keep yourself accountable. It sounds like you may need to do some stepwork to get to root causes of your acting out. Do you have a group you can attend?
Neal made a good post of options:
Take care brother and never give up. There’s a reason you isolate; there’s a reason all addicts isolate and escape. You’re building a new way of life - you need support to learn how to be in the world, sober.