I’ve been told quite a bit recently to go back to drinking because I seemed happy and wasnt always pissed off. I’m over 7 months sober now. I didnt drink to become happy. What the hell has happened to me? Basicly became anti-social. Cant stand anyone at work anymore. The only person who hasnt said anything bad has been my wife. And I guess that’s the only person who matters as to what she feels about my attitude. But I notice it. Right now there isn’t an urge to drink. But is being sober causing all this? I didnt feel like it before my drinking got in the way…
I hope all this makes sense. It’s late and I’m tired so sorry if it doesn’t.
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The alcohol is doing the talking here. Addiction will do anything to get you again. Its desperate.
Even if you’re a different person, you’re the person that is really you, not the monster that addiction made you. Who cares what others think. You’re alive and can appreciate your family.
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Sobriety is more than putting the drink down. The alcohol is but a symptom of our disease. The root cause is our ego and self-centeredness. Have you considered getting a sponsor and practicing the 12 steps?
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I’m no expert, but if PAWS can last up to 2 years, its logical to say it may take as long to normalize.
What I can tell you, from experience, is that my first attempt to quit left quite a chip on my shoulder. I was pissed off at the world. I am not sure why, even until this day.
Now, I’m not pissed at the world so much, but I am a lot more, I don’t want to say anxious, but overwhelmed by stimulation. At times I react with anger and seem to have a very short fuse. Sometimes, leaving the house can be a challenge.
So here’s my take. Alcohol is a depressant. I used daily for close to 20 years. The depressing effect of alcohol lasts for three days after consumption, I rarely went more than 3 days without drinking, so I was pretty much under the effect of alcohol for two decades, and now I’m not. There is a lot of shit my brain needs to figure out before I can be “normal” again, and I’m talking at the chemical and hormonal level. Not to mention all the mental and psychological shit that was being suppressed and deferred.
So, you’re not alone, the struggle is real. Just take it easy, one day at a time. Breathing and meditation has helped a lot for me.
Good luck my man.
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That’s because you were somewhat high all of the time in the past, which gave you artificial tolerance in a way. Do your co-workers drink? Maybe it’s the people you work with, not your sober self?
I experienced something similar I think. At a certain point into sobriety, I realized I was angry a lot. I think it had a lot to do with how I had been coping with my emotions for the last twenty years when I was drinking. While drinking, I didn’t deal with a number of issues I needed to because it was easier not to. I would gather up my grievances without looking at them and then get shitfaced on a weekend so I could forget everything and in doing so, replaced my day to day annoyances and disappointments with a much bigger and more dramatic situation through my drunken antics. I often gave myself a “real problem” to focus on that easily took over the smaller disappointments and stressors that had been building during the week.
When I stopped drinking, I realized my old method of unexamined storing and blitzing wasn’t going to work anymore. I no longer had the bigger and more immediate consequences of my drinking to contend with: I didn’t have to get all new credit cards and ID’s because I no longer lost my wallet, or have to deal with a smashed or missing car or find horrid text messages I had drunkenly sent or deal with the clingy and unfortunate mistakes I had hooked up with. And so on.
But once those bigger consequences were no longer happening, I realized I was stuck with the things I didn’t want to think about – no longer with an escape hatch. I was stuck in myself. No more trips to the light fantastic. Just me. And realizing this, didn’t make me very happy.
It’s taken time. It’s taken the deliberate cultivation of new things to do to relax–which started as forced exercises (making myself do things I enjoyed long ago; trying out things that seemed like they might be good outlets or hobbies) and then some of those new habits turned into genuine enjoyment. And it’s been about the recognition of the fact that I’m agitated or upset, identifying the cause and then working through it.
Sobriety has been a very thoughtful period for me in which I spend a lot of time contemplating why something makes me upset. I can recognize it now in a way I never could before. Before I was just smashing past the barricades on the way to the cliff. Now, I don’t have the excuses I used to have. I don’t have the cop-out I gave myself “I was drunk” “I don’t remember”. Because I still fuck things up and now, I have to deal with the fact that I did it on my very own and now, unlike when I was drinking, I realized that now I’m going to have to fix it. Often, the things that piss me off the most, are the things I do; the mistakes I still make; my temper or impatience or the responses people make to me that I feel are unwarranted, unfair or unjustified. And now I have to deal with those disappointments and mistakes fully now in a way that doesn’t make things worse for me to live with.
It gets better as time goes by.
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I had a lot of people, including myself say to me well you’ve worked through your emotional issues you you’ll be fine if you drink now because you’re happy. And I thought that was true after my first sober attempt. But people dont realize when you’re sober all the emotions you had bottled up come put. Anger, sadness, joy, everything. So it’s a lot to deal with. I will say this, even when you work through it all and get to a great place, drinking pulls you downhill again and you have to start all over
I made it 4 months, felt great, looked great, etc. I started drinking again and immediately, the very first night I started drinking at a house party I picked up right where I left off. #1 I went WAY overboard on the amount, #2 my personality slid backwards, I got irritated at my boyfriend because someone mentioned his ex (who we’ve had about with trust stuff that we worked theough) and that was it. Instead of being rational and maybe just saying hey, this bothered me can we talk about it. I got immediately defensive, pissed off, felt like my boyfriend was lying to me, I started being really snarky with him, flirting with his friends, said fuck it and started drinking even more. Then I got too drunk, felt awful, started crying because I thought people were judging me (which they weren’t), and had to have my boyfriend get me in bed. Woke up so hungover I thought I would never feel better.
That was after I worked through all my emotional issues lol. So yeah, it doesn’t really work that way. You can work through stuff all you want, get yourself in a wonderful place but the second you start drinking again, everything gets thrown out the window.
And when you see dealing with stuff sober it sucks. True emotions fucking suck so bad. And there is nothing to numb them. The first couple months, both times i was irritated with the world. Hated everyone. It’s because all that emotion is coming out in true form. It will pass. But take your time, be patient with yourself and have supportive people around you. It’s so difficult but it is possible to work through.
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Same here. I can’t stand even chatting with my friends that I made prior to sobriety. I figured it’s just time to find new friends.
As far as work goes, I count to five and take a breath before giving a reply. Sometimes my reply wasn’t the nicest and I ended up saying nothing at all. Still employed, though! 
I think it’s a mixture of our brains feeling and working through anxieties, when alcohol used to just mask those feelings. Life’s better sober, hands down.
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Omg…that was me. My ex boss really doesnt know how close he was to being beaten on a daily basis. For me, it got better. Those emotions that came evetually leveled off. You are on a good path, stay the course and it will get better
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I’d really like to slap anyone who tells you you were “better” when drinking. Such selfish and shallow people. Clearly they don’t care about YOU but only themselves and want you to be the entertainment for them. I say eff off to them and stick with your wife. Clearly she cares about the whole you and not just what you can do for her.
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This sums it all up.
It’s also that time of year where people are stressed out with money. As they say, money is the root of all evil. I was never quite as short with anyone as I was when I was broke or saw with startling reality how I could not provide for those the way I wanted too/wished that I could provide.
I see this as another “well they might be sicker than me today, I hope and pray that there day gets better” cause it’s no reason to drink.
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Thanks everyone. I just for some reason thought any emotions or sickness came out around the very start of sobriety. I realize that it could be like this for a while. But, i’m ready to face it all. It can kick me in the ass but i’m gonna beat the shit out of it.
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Research “dry drunk syndrome”… may be what’s happening 
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I heard the same thing twice in the last month. One of those comments made me upset, and worse made me believe that was true. I got wasted after work trying to be “nicer and in a better mood.” Guess what? It backfired and then I had to reset my sober counter.
That day was also a game changer. I realised that I wanted to quit drinking for me. Doing it for someone else actually made me feel more grouchy. Also I had to look at this upset as a reminder of why I dont drink. And as an opportunity to make my life better. If I feel deprived, or like I am making a sacrifice, then I will get resentful.
I learned something else in SMART. When you start to control your thoughts, you control your emotions, and ultimately your actions.
I am interested in how things will change for you.
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Well that response was completely uncalled for. Sounds like you may also be a dry drunk
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Get a sponsor work the steps… You will be amazed before you are halfway through… That’s a promise
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Dummy?? WTF is your problem?? I have the right to State my opinions and speak my peace on here just like anybody else does without being called “fucking stupid”. I am also recovering from alcohol so I understand… you are not the only one. Dry drunk syndrome as a real thing, it was just a thought… not something that I should have gotten attacked over. There are ways to tell people you don’t agree with them without being mean. I have never been disrespectful to anybody on this forum and never would, unlike you. Please do not reply to me anymore because I don’t care what you have to say.
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