One of the most powerful things that has come from sobriety is genuine, appropriate, meaningful connections with other people. Throughout my recovery, the father figures among us have given me guidance I didn’t know I was in need of. I wasn’t receptive or ready at first, but you’ve been steadfast with your support. You’ve been there for the breakdowns, the celebrations, and all the weird stuff in between. I’ve learned that fathers are not the mythical perfect beings I always made you in my head, but that there are fathers (like y’all) who are working daily to become better.
Father’s day has always been a tough one for me, and this is my first time getting through the day without alcohol. My father is a huge jerk who has never faced his own addictions and caused a lot of pain in my life, so this is usually a day of remembering the things he put me through. This year I was prepared for that familiar thirsty pit in my stomach, and instead I’m feeling gratitude for all of the dads who have become my sober family.
Thank you for being you. For being open about your journey. For being dadly at heart, whether or not you have biological children. For listening, for sharing, and for being here. Have an excellent fathers day tomorrow!
It’s so much easier to be a dad than it is to be perfect, it’s so much more rewarding too. Thanks for taking the time to recognize us, warms the coggles of my heart lady.
The prime reason I’m staying sober. Thank You for your very meaningful and heartfelt words and I hope you’ll have the opportunity tomorrow to make new and better memories of the day. All the best to you miss J.
Thanks for sharing this.
Father’s Day is a tough day for me too. My own father has been a person who is in a lot of ways an inspiration for all the ways I don’t want to be. He was someone who never acknowledged his own addictions or reckless and harmful behavior. A pattern that emerged in the dark days of my own addiction.
My son is my biggest source of inspiration. I don’t want my addictions to be what my son remembers about me. When I got sober, I promised myself that each day I would be a little better for my son and my wife.
May I second the sentiments of the lovely @anon62920945? My relationship with my own father was a trainwreck, and I pulled a lot of bad drunks on this day over the years. To all fathers on here - and to friends who help lift us up when days are difficult - thank you for working so hard to be good people. Seeing the love you show your children - and all of us - is such a gift. Happy Fathers Day to all you guys. Thanks for all you give to your families - and to all of us.
My father was a piece of work. Picture one of the Male characters from the show “Madmen”. He contributed little to my life, but served as a shining example of the type of man not to be.
And I’m not. The fact that my kids love me is all the proof I need to know I am better.
When my daughter was 6, she had a school assignment for Father’s Day. For the record, I was 47 5’7/200lbs when she laid down the facts as she saw them.
this, J. So many stellar sober dads here on TS to look up to. Maybe for some today is bittersweet.
Today I’m lucky to have a relationship with my father. I wasn’t as fortunate growing up. When little, dad was a guy who drank every day some place thousands of miles away. He wasn’t always the most… pleasant guy to talk to then and rarely showed up. It took until I was in my mid twenties, him warned that one more drink would certainly kill him, before he got sober.
A lot has change since then. He changed. (Okay, mostly, lol. Still stubborn AF). Patiently being more present in my life when he could, never asking much other than how I was doing.
I carried resentment around for a long time long after I’d accepted he had really changed. At the same time I stumbled toward full-on alcoholism myself by no fault of his around the time he got sober.
His example of sobriety and patient acceptance was one of many whispers in my ear that things could be better again. This year in sobriety I finally and truly let the past go. I came clean with him about my own struggle and apologized for keeping a distance through what was surely hard for him. Since then I’ve found him to be a source of wisdom and strength I’d not expected. The gap between us closed and I’ve really got a dad.
Whatever our struggles today, I pray all can find that peace.
