I can relate, however if he is not a regular daily heavy drinker i wouldnt mind if he would have a drink sometimes.
i was a wine drinker, i could live with a man who would occaisonally have a bear.
i mean if you were vegetarian would you mind if he ate meat?
i wouldnt.
i get it, you are afraid to get tempted, but alcohol is ééé’verywhere!
if i would avoid it i could "t have any friends, not even visit my mom etc.
you are sober for yourseld ( and your kids)
i wouldnt exclude every man who drinks.
orrrr we could turn this site into a datig site haha!
I am very impressed that you have a clear set of goals/criteria for a future relationship. That is great. In my dating years my only criteria was someone who called me back!!! I wish I could go back and do it all again.
But if you are only still in the divorce process right now do you not think it would be worth it to just take some time for yourself? I know many people say you shouldn’t date in early sobriety because it can interfere with your recovery process but I really think we also need to take time to really get to know ourselves…and fall in love with ourselves. I fully believe when we have done that then other people will want to be around you. They’ll see how much you love yourself and they’ll be dying to find out what it is that is so great about you.
On another note: I’ve heard that sobriety is the best dating filter out there. If you flat out say in the beginning “I’m sober, no ifs ands or buts” you’ll week out the douchebags really fast.
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How have you been love??
Its hard to explain… But for the past 2 years ive been sober with a 5 month break in between trying to keep my husband on track for the sake of our kids. Its literally like ive been single this whole time… And im just ready to start dating again, its just difficult for me… Because my radar used to pick up the douchebags… And unfortunately, im attracted to “bad boys”… But bad boys usually arent sober so im at a lose / lose situation
Oh, I totally understand. TOTALLY!!
Sadly, for me, I think if I were single again the last thing I would want to do is date. I’m tired of dealing with the needs of other people. Maybe I’m being selfish but I’m at a point where I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it (or NOT do it as is most often the case). For crying out loud, I want to be able to decorate my bedroom MY WAY and not worry about whether or not it is too girly for my husband. ME ME ME.
LOL
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Haha! I love it! And totally get that!! Do your room how you want anyways, the Queen decides those things in the house ! 
LOL…not in my house. It’s all done very passively but I am living in a patriarchal system for sure. But I can’t blame anyone for it…I do think that subconciously I did actively look to marry my father. How Freudian!!
9 years divorced, 6 months sober. Recovery 1st.
It takes time, a long time to get over a serious relationship.
Be kind to yourself, and find you again.
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