Why is this so hard?! I really didn’t think I had this much of a problem but I have still never made it past 6/7 days…so messed up!! Dont really know what to think or do
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Hi Tired Mom,
it’s a very strong habit that smoothly enters your life and fits into all your everyday situations - are you happy? Celebrate with a drink. Feel sad or frustrated? You deserve a drink. Restless, anxious, bored or any other feeling, alcohol, or whatever substance you’re addicted to, will help you feel it less, numb it just enough so you can stand it and go on another day.
So it’s NOT messed up or weird that it’s hard to give up, YOU are not messed up or lacking in will power or anything like that.
Can you not drink for the next half hour? Commit to that, then see about the next hour after that. One step at a time. And don’t beat yourself up, I believe in you!
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The beginning is so tough. But every time you dont use…it gets easier. This place is a great first step. However, for me I had to get my butt into a program. AA is what worked for me. Maybe that would help. If not AA, something like SMART or another program.
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I’ve got good news, @Tiredmom09. You’re already doing it! You just reached out for help, from people who understand the problem.
Kudos.
As for what to think… I can only suggest what’s worked for me.
-Focus on thoughts/feelings of gratitude, for the days that you’ve already remained sober.
-Think about all that you will gain by not drinking (i.e. Mental clarity, physical health, weight loss, emotionally present, money not wasted, time not wasted: whatever it is for you)
-Remind yourself of all the cons of a relapse.
(free are many, if you really think about it)
-know that we care, and we want you to succeed.
-if you have one, surrender to your higher power. Pray for the burden of cravings to be lifted.
-Pick any number of things you’ve been putting off and do them. It’s amazing how much shit you can get done around the house when you’re using it as a way to escape your addiction.
- Keep coming back. We work if you work us.
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Thank you 
kind words always help
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I definitely really need to think about some kind of program because cold turkey just isn’t working for me!
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I do try and think about the positives…I don’t know why I get sucked down this hole every time! It just makes me miserable. I KNOW I’m better than this! I want sobriety soo bad but I just have so much trouble committing!!
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Yeah, finding that reason- that commitment, is absolutely key.
Here’s a picture of why I don’t drink anymore. I HOPE you don’t need something like this, something to fixate and agonize over.
YOU definitely don’t need the nightmares or the PTSD or the jail time.
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My reason for not wanting to drink anymore is my son. He deserves better than what I give him sometimes. Hes an incredible kid and I couldn’t imagine my life without him! I dont want him growing up thinking it’s normal to drink every weekend. There are definitely better/more important things to do! I’m just tired…I want this to be over with so I can be healthy!!
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Imagine the woman you want your son to marry. Imagine her character and behaviors.
Be that kind of person.
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Honestly. Me relationship with my kids has fundamentally changed since I became sober. I taught my son to read in the evenings instead of drinking… he’s now reading almost independently (grade 1) and he feels so awesome about himself. My house is cleaner, I’m sleeping better- there’s so many benefits! You can do it, hit a meeting and make a plan!
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Absolutely…I think I just need to pretty much stay away from every one of my friends for a good long while. Not that they peer pressure me or anything, its definitely all me but that’s what they like to do and I dont want to anymore.
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OMG @Tiredmom09 
thank you for sharing because I can totally relate to you and your situation * thank you to everyone who replied back to her because “I am” reading these posts and saying to myself “I’m not alone” “I understand her” “I feel her frustration” * I almost blew it yesterday * I almost convinced myself to have one glass of wine and that’s it * but I didn’t * I’m now on day 8 and because of this post and its messages I may actually make it today * it is hard and the urges are insanely manipulative * but one day at a time… thank you all
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The thing I’ve learned is that sobriety is more of a lifestyle than a choice. I could choose to be sober and continue living the way I did, but I’d be miserable. So I changed my lifestyle.
Everything centered around drinking, so to be successful and happy, I had to rearrange my priorities. I stopped hanging out with friends who, while have good intentions, were bad influences. I started living for myself, eating better, started exercising, became a better father etc.
The key is identifying what will make YOU happy, then working on what you need to do to get there.
Good luck!
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Yes the first weeks can be difficult, but it’s getting easier I promise!
Here is a list with things that helped me, maybe they help you too!
No alcohol in my house
Refigarator filled with nice food and alc. free drinks
Telling my spouse about my sober plan
Avoid alcohol related activaties and friends (at least in the beginning)
Having a day counter
Avoid wine section supermarket and liquor store
Taking a strong vitamine B complex
Taking melatonine to help me sleep
Be gentle to myself, like go to bed early
When craving: do anything but don’t drink so walk, run, work out, Netflix, clean, study, whatever.
Be here every day to read and check in sober.
Today is my 76th day sober.
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Thanks for the tips and congrats on 76 days! That’s awesome
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Change the background of your sobriety counter to a picture of your son. Change the name of your sobriety counter to “Choosing a better life for my son and myself”.
In the early days of sobriety I think it is super important to remember why you are getting sober. Also reminds your self that by not drinking you are choosing your “why”
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It’s totally up to you to make a success of quitting. Deep down you have to want to stop once you have made that commitment it becomes easier. Stopping is more about actually stopping rather than thinking that it would be nice to stop
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I’m also a tired mom who couldn’t do it alone. My end of the day “reward” was a lie. I had grown dependent on alcohol, and I saw that I was an irritable, spiritually bankrupt person. That’s never who I wanted to be for my children in my husband.
I went to AA. Through meetings and working the steps, I am a different human being. My sponsor told me something early on that gas carried me through some really rough days. “If you play your cards right, your kids will never remember you as a drunk.” May that be true.
227 days sober today. Thus from a woman who, other than pregnancies, hadn’t gone a week without a drink in over fifteen years.
You can do this. For me, this forum and my recovery program have been life saving. I feel like I have come back to myself after so many years of just feeling …well…numb and lost. I’m also a stay at home mom now, and I felt like I had lost a lot of my own identity. Being sober allows me to show my boys a mom who has energy, my own interests, and who values herself…who takes care of herself as well as them. They are now 3 and 4, and I am having so much fun with them. Still days that make me want to pull my hair out, but now I can see and feel the joy again…️
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I’m so looking forward to being at that point! To just being happy without alcohol. I was a young mom (17 when my son was born) so sometimes I feel like I subconsciously feel like I missed out on some teen years of being crazy and partying. Still no excuse by any means, it just makes sense in my head. But I do want to stop and will! One day at a time. I have to keep remembering that!
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