Has anyone else psychologically eliminated the urge?

Advice & Questions
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Hey everyone, second post and I wanted to see if I’m the only one.

In my first post I mentioned a journal I’ve been keeping for a few months. In it, I would write out my feelings each day. I became my own coach, from the past. I would write in it as if I was talking to someone I was trying to help, and many of my entries were NOT nice.

I used it to taper myself down, bit by bit. When I failed, I would let my future self (the one reading) know just how disappointed I felt in that moment.

After a while, I started to feel like I was forcing myself to drink. My mind didn’t want it anymore, but my body would go through the motions, so I documented those feelings.

Then one day, I didn’t swing by the gas station. I drove straight home. I didn’t leave the house the entire weekend, and I haven’t had even a sip since. I have had temptations, but they are fleeting.

I’m only going on 3 weeks now, but I’ve been constantly keeping myself in the right mindset. Instead of radio, I listen to inspirational speeches about addiction, success, anything to help me live a better, fulfilling life.

One speech that really stuck with me was on youtube. No affiliation, but the title is “This speech will change your life.” It says “delete bad habits” in the thumbnail, if anyone wishes to look it up, I encourage them to do so!

In it, he talks about changing your mentality, your “state”. This was what got me to start my journal, and I effectively changed my outlook from thinking of alcohol as a good thing, to recognizing it as the negative force it had become in my life.

I apologize, I’m kind of rambling now. But, it feels good to share, and I just want to help others as they have helped me. I look forward to learning from everyone here and drawing motivation from all of you as well.

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You can just link the video in here makes it easier for us to follow your suggestion :pray:t2:

Thank you in advance

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I tried, it wouldn’t let me. I’ll try it again but leave out the http.

youtu.be/VQiQUIb-_Qg

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Hi @DryDad :slight_smile:

Can I ask what you mean by eliminating the urges? Does that mean get rid of the cravings or completely changing the mindset and alter the way we think about drinking altogether?

Interesting topic :slight_smile:

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Fixed,

I’m a watch tomorrow my son is sleeping and so should I.

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I suppose it’s both at the end of the day. I had stopped here and there before, but I feel like the process I took this time actually changed how I think on a subconscious level towards drinking. I continued to drink for a few months after starting the journal, but after a while I just started to lose interest, and finally stopped. It wasn’t like I had to force myself to NOT drink, I just didn’t. I didn’t WANT to. And it has not been hard at all to continue to not drink. Not like it was in the past when I tried to quit.

This is following 2 years of daily drinking, and off and on binge drinking since I was 16. (I’m 33 now)

I know it’s still early for me yet, and time will tell for sure. But I honestly feel like I’ve managed to break the cycle. That doesn’t mean I am not going to stop working to maintain my sobriety, as I am sure I could very easily slip back into it if I don’t stay focused. But as of now, I am not drawn to drink very much. The thought pops up here and there, but it is easily tossed aside.

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Watch this to buddy!
It’ll help you prepare for what might lay ahead.

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Personally I look at it like I can be sober but I can never be not an addict or not an alcoholic it just doesn’t work like that

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If you google alcoholism it says “ Treatment can help, but this condition can’t be cured”. I’m not going to entertain lofty ideas of managing my drinking I’ve got 10 years of my own research to know it never lasts and the effect of alcohol is like poison so no thanks!

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Okay, I see what you mean.

I never got rid of the cravings but I did learn to deal with the triggers. A pretty important part of sobriety is learning how to cope with the triggers and being able to deal with the cravings which like you said, if you keep working in your sobriety, you’ll eventually do - I think what you were saying there was you’re not going to be complacent. Which is the best way to think.

Sounds like you’ve gotten to “that point”. I’m going to call for back up here to explain what I mean; @anon12657779 @Dejavu @SassyRocks @DarrenUK I think we have all said in previous conversations that there was a moment where we all realised we’d gotten to “that point” and can all recall what we were doing, where we were etc…and it was like a moment of clarity where we were all like “I’m done”.

That moment for me was life changing and very surreal but my entire outlook on life, my addiction and my relationship with drugs and alcohol completely changed. I still have moments of weakness but I manage them.

Sounds like you had that moment too :slight_smile:

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I’m 9 and a half months without drinking most days I don’t have cravings when I do it’s usually related to triggers and I use the AA 12 step programme of recovery to deal with them.

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Im a week shy of 3 years. I dont get an urge anymore. I kind of shudder at the thought of drinking ever again.

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Agreed. I tried for years to figure out how I could continue to drink normally…I never could figure it out …sure I could have a drink or two every now and again and stop there…I could go for a few days without drinking…I could even stop at one glass sometimes…but…eventually I would end up shitfaced, chugging 4 or 5 bottles of wine, stumbling around looking for drugs or more wine, smashing cars, legs, feet, self…fighting with the husband and whomever else was near me…and a lot more…argh…a sad existence. I tried for years to get it right…what I never got was that getting it right for me meant stopping drinking.

And then after my 40 year drinking career and about 10 full years of sinking into the pit, I woke up after another drunken night of fighting, after another night wishing I was dead, thinking I needed to kill myself and end the pain…and I stopped drinking. And I haven’t drank since. I knew right away it felt different this time around. I was DONE.

All that led up to being done…was all learning and adding to my sober toolbox and building sober muscles and my knowledge base. It was all part of my process.

Not that it was any easier…it was not…it was still a long hard slog of one day at a time…but in my heart I could feel this time was different somehow.

It may not be that way for everyone, but for me, I knew that this was my time. And it still is almost 3 years later. And no, I don’t crave or think about just one anymore. :heart:

The most important thing for me was I never stopped trying. No matter how defeated or how hard it was to string days together, I just kept at it until it stuck.

Never give up. :heart:

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I definitely have made a connection in my brain towards alcohol this time around. Every time any thought involving alcohol pops up all i think about is the pain its caused me. Every time. I no longer believe “eh, I can go grab a couple drinks and everything will be okay” bc it wont. I’ve experimented with that idea too many times and it always ends the same. I honestly cant even say I’ve truly had a craving bc the thought is smashed within seconds. Like a switch finally clicked in my brain. From everything I’ve learned so far, and how I now feel about myself, I honestly think I’ve got it this time. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop pursuing getting the help I need to stay this way bc I know I’ll always have this disease. Keep working it. All the best :blush:

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Thanks for the tag @anon84416494 I now dread the thought of a drink

In 7 months I haven’t had the desire to drink on even one occasion. The mental obesssion has been removed from me. This is my opinion is the hardest thing

The only way the compulsion was removed was by fully surrendering and thinking I’ll never be able to drink again. I’m now happy with that being the case

In my opinion the compulsion and need to drink has been removed through following the 12 steps of AA and having a set sobriety plan

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I changed my mindset.
I no longer drink.
Right from the start I accepted that.
I woke up on the kitchen floor one morning and I knew it was going to be different this time.
Read around on here and people spoke of changing mindset. So yes changing ones psychological outlook on drinking, on life really.
It’s definitely what I did.
From a very early point I told myself over and over that I don’t drink.
What other people do is up to them, but I don’t.
I would say that from about 6 months was where I felt a major shift in thought.
From that point I very rarely have a craving, urge whatever you want to call it.
I have nothing that actually “triggers” me anymore because that not my life, I don’t miss it!
Why would I? I’m far better off sober!
Recovery groups are a big help for people to gain knowledge and meet people who understand. And I have gone to AA and my whole " program " is based around the Big Book. But I don’t regularly go to meetings. But I also don’t crave a social life.
I’m happy with my family, but if I do go out, I’m quite comfortable sat in a pub with a few friends who drink.
I don’t drink. And for the past 5 years at least I have drunk every day all day!
Yes it’s all about adjusting our mindset.
It is that simple. But it’s bloody hard.
@DryDad, it’s basically what you have done, by watching all the webcaats, you have changed your out look.
You have changed your mind and life.

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This my friend is an a amazing heartfelt thread and thanks so much for sharing it with me,for me now 62 days clean I don’t even think about using tbh at the end of my hell of addiction I’d say the last4/5 years it wasn’t even about the urge it just was a habbit away of life not knowing how to live another life ,so them urges are no where to be seen,it’s more working on not letting other vices move into there place as I will replace one addiction for another so I’m working on not doing that at the moment my addict brain will let me think it’s ok to gorge on food it’s ok to manickly clean my house it’s ok to gamble it’s ok to do all these things as I’m not using IM CLEAN but I’ve now come to the realization that all these parts of my life are unmanageable and they need to be looked at and worked on,there’s so much more to recovery once you start getting clean and strip back the layers of your life But the beauty of it is BC we have chose to stay clean and sober we have our our minds eye to aknowledge these issues and deal with them in a manner that isn’t harming us. Yes it feels uncomfortable yes fear is crippling me sometimes buttttt none of this is going to kill me if anything it will make me a stronger person.thankyou so much for your share and please carry on your journey of faith and hope.xx

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My cravings ended when I realized they were all in my head, and I embraced the notion of never drinking again. “Sober, forever” settled the question, eliminating any lingering doubt. It was so unbelievably freeing that I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t decided sooner. Then I realized I had to reach that point, have that “moment of clarity” where I became a non-drinker.

I haven’t had a single craving or urge since. I won’t drink, because I don’t drink. I am a non-drinker.

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I have no cravings anymore the compulsion for drinking has left me by working the 12step program as the decades go on it does get easier im the proof of that keep on trucking

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