Hello, im new here. I started my sober journey on boxing day last year. I managed 7 weeks before slipping up. Im currently on day 11 and struggling… Ive got tools in my toolkit for fighting cravings, but today they dont seem to be helping.
One of my triggers is stress and after having some news today that has totally blown me apart, im fighting with myself to not go out and buy some alcohol.
Writing here is another attempt to fight off the cravings. Im looking for support.
Ive eaten a big meal (that usually works, im less likely to want a drink if im full) ive put my pyjamas on to try and deter me from going out. Im trying to talk myself into not drinking - i need to build those new neural pathways! I will regret it in the morning when im hungover. It’s only a temporary relief.
Please does anyone have any more advise or support for me? I really dont want to drink, but i also really do. But i dont…
Early on calling in to meetings online and leaving my camera and mic off was really helpful to just get through the tough times. Sounds like you’re doing a lot of great coping things right now, keep adding on and power through. You can absolutely do this! I used to (well, still do!) watch shows that were a good distraction. Or movies that had multiple sequels so I was guaranteed to have a long watch. Writing it out is good also. Keep coming back - that’s also so helpful!
My struggle is with weed, but similarly I still fight my cravings.
What really helps me is knowing that even though I think my “high” or “drunk” will make me feel “better”, it is actually not the solution. Will I feel good physically? Maybe slightly, but I know mentally I would feel horrible. It actually would make my situation worse.
You have to convince yourself that drinking would not solve anything in this situation. Only time and talking to someone can help you feel better mentally and physically.
I’m also struggling today (day 14) because I’ve had some great news and news which traditionally would end up as an excuse to get plastered. I now have to take clients out to a cocktail bar too, which truly sucks.
If I could I would go for a swim because that truly is something which is very hard to do whilst drinking alcohol/I never did whilst drinking alcohol so has no association with it.
Do you have Insight Timer? It’s an app with meditations and there are also ones to surf the urge. Or to deal with cravings. Insight Timer - #1 Free Meditation App for Sleep, Relax & More
I think you can also search on YouTube for them.
Just remember, it’s not you, it’s the addictive substance calling out for itself. You know you don’t want to, and you will starve it out.
Sometimes it helps me to play it forward. What will I feel like tomorrow. Or a hot shower, or bath.
I know you will get through this. Reaching out was the best thing to do, very good of you.
Some people say: IWNDWYT, took me forever to find out that is I will not drink with you today😄 But I will not. You are not alone❤️
Stress is a common trigger. But this trigger relies upon the assumption and brainwashing that alcohol cures stress. When, in fact, it doesn’t. After the dopamine wears off after a using session, I’m left feeling more stressed, more anxious, more obsessing, more craving than ever before.
So our DOC’S do not cure stress. They create it.
Nor do they cure anxiety, but create more.
Alcohol does not fill a void. It creates one.
Alcohol has no value. It’s completely worthless. To quit alcohol is not a sacrifice. One is not missing out on anything by choosing to not drink.
Please read Allen Carr’s, Easy Way to Control Alcohol and Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind
Maybe take a cold shower. This will trigger dopamine to release at a slow rate for 3 hours or so. You should feel your sress dissipate, and a calm will settle over you. It works for me when I cant cold plunge.
Im currently having life coaching sessions that are focused on helping me beat alcohol. I would also consider AA but im anxious about seeing people at a local meeting who may know me? With my line of work, i would absolutely hate to be “outed”
I personally know theres no shame in looking for support and wanting to get better - but that doesnt take away the stigma.
I found that listening to sobriety podcasts helped me a lot. I would walk miles and just listen. Good job fighting and reaching out. Just worry about putting a sober head on your pillow tonight. Best wishes
For me “tricks” were not really any type of long-term solution. I had to actually put work in on my recovery rather than just relying on distractions. For me that meant going to AA, getting a sponsor and practicing the steps. I have not had a craving in a long time as a result.
Thank you so much, i really like the idea of the craving being the alcohol calling out for itself, and im going to starve it by not giving it what it wants. Its really just a battle of the mind and im trying to re-frame the way i think about it - so your words really help. Thank you.
I learned that from This Naked Mind. Which someone mentioned here. Check it out. There is so much more of this knowledge that really changed my life. The book is amazing. There are youtube videos and a podcast, too.
One thing that helps me is establishing routines! Map out your days, plan goals and things you need to get done and then fill the empty gaps in the schedule to fill your day with stuff you want to do for fun or personal growth! My day is occupied from 6:00 AM to bed time everyday. Except for weekends when I like to plan things on the fly with my family for spontaneity. I find that by the time I’m done with the day the only thing I want to do is sleep. Hope this helps!
