Have to stop

I cannot stop drinking
I cannot get in to a physiatrist in time
I have no AA
I don’t have the option for rehab which I think I need bc I have 3 kids it’s not an option
I will die from alcohol abuse and I cannot stop

2 Likes

You sound really desperate. Have you called to see if any local aa meetings let kids come or have childcare? You obviously need a sponsor and some irl support. I really hope you can get the help you need.

1 Like

How much do you drink?

12 pack every other day ONTOP of bipolar 2 medicines

We literally have nothing we’re I am it’s over an hour drive for me :frowning: I def do not want to take my kids in if I can’t have a sitter they have no clue it’s going on

OK…bad news is you have a problem if you feel you have a problem. Good news…that amount won’t kill you…You need to slow down and try to get a hold of your anxiety

2 Likes

You’ve decided there is no answer at the moment @Jbishop - we’ve all been there and it’s not a good place.
And your meds and the alcohol aren’t going to help.
When your thinking more clearly you need to be honest with yourself and come to terms with the facts that YOU’RE building these barriers and you need to break them down, with help or without.
3 kids. That’s the primary reason you’ve got to nail this. And you will!

4 Likes

I hate this I feel like a complete failure as a human I’m so depressed bc I cannot stop

The alcohol’s a depressant, literally!
You’re in a loop, the sheer amount of booze you drink leaves you depressed and hungover the next day, the meds, Lord knows what the interaction is there, you then feel so lousy you buy another 12 pack and it’s groundhog day. Again.
You CAN stop.
Do you have family apart from your kids?

6 Likes

Sorry if that came over as a bit nosy, just wondered if you have someone you trust to leave the kids with.

@Jbishop. You can do this it just takes you wanting to get off the rollercoaster. I live in a pretty rural area of the US (western KS). And there’s even a small meeting here. Have you looked to see if there are NA meetings? Maybe try online meetings? I’m sorry if I’m coming off as harsh I’m just trying to understand. The option may not be ideal but better than feeling so hopeless!

1 Like

How many psychiatrics did you see? Are you sure the medicines you’re taking are good for you?

1 Like

I have a referral from my GP out now to one and trying to see what my insurance covers I haven’t seen any yet

1 Like

I will gladly and appreciatively accept ANY online AA or NA or anything online from anyone!!

1 Like

You hit the nail on the head. That’s my life and the random days i so t have a drink or anxiety it’s the best ever!!
My husband has a crazy work schedule obviously he would take off for an emergency but cannot THAT much! My mom and I are close but she runs her own business, if I can find out a day and time in advance I’m sure she would the times just have to be literally perfect bc she’s so far away from my other 2 kids school…(I’m home with 1)

1 Like

Lol nosey is my middle name

1 Like

@Jbishop - Jessica, you are a valuable member of this forum and we are all pulling for you. You can beat this.

1 Like

You guys have no idea what just being there for me has meant…at home I feel like I’m allllways a broken record that nobody understands and here I can be honest and say things I’ve never said outloud to even myself and for people who don’t know me AT ALL only trust In what I say and see a picture of me and my raccoon lol go out of their way to help me gives me some hope.
I guess I think I should automatically wake up and be done drinking…cold turkey…I can’t and need to accept that it takes time
And not only do I apparently have an addiction I also have a mental disease which I need to get under control first I think?? Right??

1 Like

I can’t agree more with @Oliverjava the two go together like peanut butter and jelly. You can white knuckle addiction and still have all the other stuff just festering under the surface. And you can seek all the mental help you can find but if you are still numbing the underlying issues then you never really put them to rest. So in my opinion work on them both and do it for you! Everyone around you will benefit. I know the more I work on what made me want to be a drunk zombie the easier I can handle life. I’m not saying it’s easy but it gets better and maybe some days I do feel like it’s easy. So just hang in there. We are here for everyone who wants our help even if we only get to give comforting words.

4 Likes

Hey @Jbishop I’ve been off of here most of today, but sorry to see you are going through all this.

As for your first post - you don’t need any ONE specific thing to stop (AA, or rehab, or a DR) of course all of them would be great, but work NOW with what you have - this forum, maybe online meetings, watching AA and recovery videos on YouTube, meditation, distraction.

Even just reading a single book. I recommend “The Recovery Book” - I am half way through it. It’s not the most thrilling read, but every page you learn something more, and it keeps your mind busy. It’s also a good reference with an index. You can get it on Amazon. Where you live USA? region?

Also depression and alcohol are very intertwined - they feed off of each other. If you stop, in time, your depression can improve.

Please keep going.

3 Likes