I’m 26 days in. I had been getting drunk about twice per week, often almost blacking out, often alone, definitely doing dumb things. Missed work due to hangovers. Laid in bed entire days. Struggled to get past a weekend without drinking. Ruined a relationship being the evil person I become.
But being sober I feel somewhat better physically. I don’t feel happier. I’ve tried so hard to “do me” spending thousands on a trip, hobby items, anything. Trying to find any passion for anything whatsoever. Even got a cat…
I’m so bored and nothing is working. I’m disappointed that my life isn’t improving in sobriety. Every night I drive around or walk the mall just to pass time. My friends are mostly married off and unavailable usually.
Sorry for the pity party but I’ve been thinking about drinking every night. Life is fun when I’m drunk. I struggle to enjoy anything otherwise. I can’t sit and rot in front of Netflix like everyone else. I’ve got so many books I’ve read the first chapter of.
I’ve got a six figure job in my 20s and still feel very empty. But nobody will sympathize it seems. Finding a psych taking patients is a battle and I can’t have work finding out anything. I need to get on some pill to make life worthwhile.
I feel like I was reading my story, I am the same age. But if we are honest with ourself drinking isn’t fun! Just keep doing the work and one day you will feel joy again. Well that’s what they say!
Take care. And soak up all the advice and stories others like us share. Because they are our biggest support system. I’m here if you want to chat.
I feel the same way but about fentanyl … an opiate that made ne feel high as a kite but 10x awesome.. i miss is everyday…but as time goes on you start learning your still alive with alcohal or drugs.. u learn to enjoy the simple leasure of life again.. u wint depend on having to drink to have fun.. as much as u know how fun it is.. its still not good if its causing you to have a hard time.i dont think anyone truly wants to be clean… i think we all dont want ro be.. but in order for life to be easier and in order to carry a good ..healtht life .. we have to be sober. Its about understanding that you dont need it in ur life and taking control. My bf just moved across the country.. im 24 .. i got a job with the government… i rarely seeny money because ive accumulated debt from.drugs… my life is shit right now.. but i know being clean.. and going thru withdrawals..well that was the biggest issue and im glad its delt with. I miss being stoned and sll thar but down the line it as caused me alot of greif. Anyways this place will keep u in check
I can totally relate. Work suffered. Relationships suffered. My parenting skills suffered. I suffered. Yet I still want to go back to drinking. You’re doing an awesome job with 26 days sober.
I can guarantee you that if you keep drinking things will fall a part it’s just a matter of time. When you lose your job because of drinking then what? $100k jobs just don’t fall off trees, I know I have one… How great will life be then? The addicted side of you will do anything to make you use again… How great is walking around with a 3 day hangover? How great is all the withdraw symptoms?
Give yourself time to heal. You have a chemical imbalance in the brain. It takes time for your brain to find equilibrium. You didn’t come this far, just to come this far!